Alls Wel that ends Well

When you sally upon him, speak what terrible language you will;

though you understand it not yourselves, no matter; for we must

not seem to understand him, unless some one among us, whom we

must produce for an interpreter.

FIRST SOLDIER. Good captain, let me be th' interpreter.

SECOND LORD. Art not acquainted with him? Knows he not thy voice?

FIRST SOLDIER. No, sir, I warrant you.

SECOND LORD. But what linsey-woolsey has thou to speak to us again?

FIRST SOLDIER. E'en such as you speak to me.

SECOND LORD. He must think us some band of strangers i' th'

adversary's entertainment. Now he hath a smack of all

neighbouring languages, therefore we must every one be a man of

his own fancy; not to know what we speak one to another, so we

seem to know, is to know straight our purpose: choughs' language,

gabble enough, and good enough. As for you, interpreter, you must 

seem very politic. But couch, ho! here he comes; to beguile two

hours in a sleep, and then to return and swear the lies he forges.

Enter PAROLLES

PAROLLES. Ten o'clock. Within these three hours 'twill be time

enough to go home. What shall I say I have done? It must be a

very plausive invention that carries it. They begin to smoke me;

and disgraces have of late knock'd to often at my door. I find my

tongue is too foolhardy; but my heart hath the fear of Mars

before it, and of his creatures, not daring the reports of my

tongue.

SECOND LORD. This is the first truth that e'er thine own tongue was

guilty of.

PAROLLES. What the devil should move me to undertake the recovery

of this drum, being not ignorant of the impossibility, and

knowing I had no such purpose? I must give myself some hurts, and

say I got them in exploit. Yet slight ones will not carry it.

They will say 'Came you off with so little?' And great ones I

dare not give. Wherefore, what's the instance? Tongue, I must put 

you into a butterwoman's mouth, and buy myself another of

Bajazet's mule, if you prattle me into these perils.

SECOND LORD. Is it possible he should know what he is, and be that

he is?

PAROLLES. I would the cutting of my garments would serve the turn,

or the breaking of my Spanish sword.

SECOND LORD. We cannot afford you so.

PAROLLES. Or the baring of my beard; and to say it was in

stratagem.

SECOND LORD. 'Twould not do.

PAROLLES. Or to drown my clothes, and say I was stripp'd.

SECOND LORD. Hardly serve.

PAROLLES. Though I swore I leap'd from the window of the citadel-

SECOND LORD. How deep?

PAROLLES. Thirty fathom.

SECOND LORD. Three great oaths would scarce make that be believed.

PAROLLES. I would I had any drum of the enemy's; I would swear I

recover'd it.

SECOND LORD. You shall hear one anon. [Alarum within]

PAROLLES. A drum now of the enemy's! 

SECOND LORD. Throca movousus, cargo, cargo, cargo.

ALL. Cargo, cargo, cargo, villianda par corbo, cargo.

PAROLLES. O, ransom, ransom! Do not hide mine eyes.

[They blindfold him]

FIRST SOLDIER. Boskos thromuldo boskos.

PAROLLES. I know you are the Muskos' regiment,

And I shall lose my life for want of language.

If there be here German, or Dane, Low Dutch,

Italian, or French, let him speak to me;

I'll discover that which shall undo the Florentine.

FIRST SOLDIER. Boskos vauvado. I understand thee, and can speak thy

tongue. Kerely-bonto, sir, betake thee to thy faith, for

seventeen poniards are at thy bosom.

PAROLLES. O!

FIRST SOLDIER. O, pray, pray, pray! Manka revania dulche.

SECOND LORD. Oscorbidulchos volivorco.

FIRST SOLDIER. The General is content to spare thee yet;

And, hoodwink'd as thou art, will lead thee on

To gather from thee. Haply thou mayst inform

Something to save thy life. 

PAROLLES. O, let me live,

And all the secrets of our camp I'll show,

Their force, their purposes. Nay, I'll speak that

Which you will wonder at.

FIRST SOLDIER. But wilt thou faithfully?

PAROLLES. If I do not, damn me.

FIRST SOLDIER. Acordo linta.

Come on; thou art granted space.

Exit, PAROLLES guarded. A short alarum within

SECOND LORD. Go, tell the Count Rousillon and my brother

We have caught the woodcock, and will keep him muffled

Till we do hear from them.

SECOND SOLDIER. Captain, I will.

SECOND LORD. 'A will betray us all unto ourselves-

Inform on that.

SECOND SOLDIER. So I will, sir.

SECOND LORD. Till then I'll keep him dark and safely lock'd.

Exeunt

SCENE 2.

Florence. The WIDOW'S house

Enter BERTRAM and DIANA

BERTRAM. They told me that your name was Fontibell.

DIANA. No, my good lord, Diana.

BERTRAM. Titled goddess;

And worth it, with addition! But, fair soul,

In your fine frame hath love no quality?

If the quick fire of youth light not your mind,

You are no maiden, but a monument;

When you are dead, you should be such a one

As you are now, for you are cold and stern;

And now you should be as your mother was

When your sweet self was got.

DIANA. She then was honest.

BERTRAM. So should you be.

DIANA. No.

My mother did but duty; such, my lord,

As you owe to your wife.

BERTRAM. No more o'that! 

I prithee do not strive against my vows.

I was compell'd to her; but I love the

By love's own sweet constraint, and will for ever

Do thee all rights of service.