Английский разговорный шутя. 100 анекдотов на все случаи жизни

Study the words and expressions given below:

to get sb sth дать кому-л. что-л.

besides кроме того

to afford позволять себе

to stump разг. ставить в тупик

certificate свидетельство, сертификат

to thrill доставлять сильное удовольствие, сильно и остро возбуждать

suggestion предложение

forehead лоб

to yell вопить

Exercises to the text

1. Answer the questions to the text:

1. Who was the fellow talking to?

2. Why didn\'t he know what to get his wife for her birthday?

3. What sort of a certificate did the fellow\'s buddy suggest

that he do?

4. Why did he think that the wife would be thrilled?

5. Did the fellow take the buddy\'s suggestion and what came out of it?

2. Fill in the blanks with the words from the text:

1. A _______ was talking to his buddy.

2. She has everything, and _______, she can _______ to buy anything.

3. Make up a _______.

4. If you did it, she\'d probably be _______.

5. Did you take my _______?

6. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the _______ and ran out.

3. Say if the statement is true or false:

1. I don\'t know what to get my wife for her birthday.

2. Why don\'t you make up a certificate saying she can have one minute of great sex.

3. If you did it, she\'d probably divorce you.

4. So the fellow did.

5. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the forehead and ran out.

6. I\'ll be back in a minute!

4. Match the words and expressions in the left column to those in the right one:

5. Translate from Russian into English:

1. Я не знаю, что подарить своей жене на ее день рождения.

2. Я в тупике.

3. У меня есть идея.

4. Парень так и сделал.

5. Она выбежала из двери с воплем: «Я вернусь через час!!!»

Revise English Grammar

В предложении If you did it, she\'d probably be thrilled… используются глаголы в форме так называемого сослагательного наклонения.

Проверьте свои навыки употребления данной формы; при необходимости воспользуйтесь грамматическим комментарием (раздел 29).

6. Fill in the blanks with appropriate forms of the verbs given in brackets:

1. If I (to know) _______ what to get my wife for her birthday, I would be really happy.

2. If she (to need) _______ something, she would have told me.

3. I (not to be stumped) _______, if she told me what she wants.

4. She would be even more thrilled, ifyou (to do) _______ it yourself.

5. If I hadn\'t taken your suggestion, people (not to make) _______ fun of me.

6. She (to be) _______ back in an hour, if she hadn\'t met you on the way.

7. If you (not to be) _______ so stupid, you wouldn\'t have made up a certificate of this sort.

7. Render the joke.

Section 27 How much to marry us?

Tom wished his wife were more attractive, but she wasn\'t. To tell the truth, he was no oil-painting, either.

After the ceremony, Tom asked the minister how much the cost was.

«Just give me what you think it is worth to have this lady for your wife,» replied the minister.

Tom looked at his wife, and handed the minister $50. The minister looked at Tom\'s wife and gave him $42 change.