Английский шутя. Английские и американские анекдоты для начального чтения (ASCII-IPA)

A town in Poland had only one cow (в одном городке в Польше была только одна корова), and it stopped giving milk (и она перестала давать молоко). The townspeople (жители городка) did a little research (навели справки: «сделали небольшое расследование») and discovered (и выяснили: «обнаружили, открыли») they could get a cow from Moscow (что они могут купить: «достать, взять» корову в Москве: «из Москвы») for 2,000 rubles, but they could get a cow from Minsk for only 1,000 rubles (а корову из Минска всего за 1000 рублей). So, they got the cow from Minsk (они взяли корову из Минска).

It was a great cow (это была отличная корова; great — великий; замечательный, прекрасный), gave lots of milk (давала много молока) and lots of cream (и много сливок), and everybody loved this cow (и все любили эту корову = всем она нравилась). The people decided they would mate the cow (люди решили спарить корову) and get more cows (и получить больше коров), and then they would never have to worry (и тогда им бы никогда /больше/ не пришлось волноваться) about their milk supply again (о снабжении их молоком; to supply — снабжать, поставлять). So, they got a bull (они взяли, нашли быка) and led the cow and the bull into the pasture (и погнали корову и быка на пастбище /to lead-led-led — вести/). When the bull came in from the right (когда бык зашел справа) to mount the cow (чтобы покрыть корову; to mount — взбираться, подниматься), the cow moved to the left (корова подвинулась влево). When the bull moved in to mount the cow from the left, the cow moved to the right. This went on all day (так продолжалось целый день).

Finally, in desperation (в отчаянии), the people decided to ask the rabbi what to do (люди решили спросить рабби, что делать). After all, he was very wise (ведь он был очень мудрым). They told him the story (они рассказали ему эту историю /to tell-told-told/). "Rabbi, we've tried all day (мы пытались целый день) to mate our cow. When the bull moves in from the right the cow moves left, and when the bull moves in from the left the cow moves to the right. What do we do? (что нам делать)"

The rabbi thought a moment and said (подумал секунду и сказал), "So, why did you buy this cow from Minsk? (а зачем вы купили эту корову в Минске)"

"Rabbi," they said, "you are so wise. We never said we bought the cow from Minsk (мы /никогда = вовсе/ не говорили тебе, что купили корову в Минске). How did you know that? (как ты это узнал)"

The rabbi said, "My wife is from Minsk (моя жена из Минска)."

A town in Poland had only one cow, and it stopped giving milk. The townspeople did a little research and discovered they could get a cow from Moscow for 2,000 rubles, but they could get a cow from Minsk for only 1,000 rubles. So they got the cow from Minsk.

It was a great cow, gave lots of milk and lots of cream, and everybody loved this cow. The people decided they would mate the cow and get more cows, and then they would never have to worry about their milk supply again. So they got a bull and led the cow and the bull into the pasture. When the bull came in from the right to mount the cow, the cow moved to the left. When the bull moved in to mount the cow from the left, the cow moved to the right. This went on all day.

Finally, in desperation, the people decided to ask the rabbi what to do. After all, he was very wise. They told him the story. "Rabbi, we've tried all day to mate our cow. When the bull moves in from the right the cow moves left, and when the bull moves in from the left the cow moves to the right. What do we do?"

The rabbi thought a moment and said, "So, why did you buy this cow from Minsk?"

"Rabbi," they said, "you are so wise. We never said we bought the cow from Minsk. How did you know that?"

The rabbi said, "My wife is from Minsk."

What do we do?

How did you know that?