Anniversarian. A play for 2 people. Comedy

Philemon. And on the other hand, to hell with it. Why not? Wasn't that how it was with my wife? I thought there would be one woman for the rest of my life, but this woman did not live with me for long. In fact, she also played enough, and went on walking. Thank you, at least God rewarded you with children, otherwise it would be a longing. Although they are not too eager to contact me, but still. It seems like I've already lived my life for a reason. And here they are, such a birthday gift from heaven. Ivy. However, is it heaven? Sometimes it seems to me that she comes from somewhere there. (He points down.) From Satan.

But I really liked her… Oh, you fool. Now I would calmly read books, draw something, maybe watch a movie. But no! Go, now, worry.

Sasha enters with a solid pile of money in his hand. Defiantly puts them on the table. He winks at Philemon.

Sasha. Hi. Did you miss me?

Philemon. There is such a letter in this word. And what is it? Where from?

Sasha. And now I'm your personal manager. Your personal agent and your girlfriend. Do you have any objections?

Philemon. Wait, wait. I understand nothing. Explain it!

Sasha. I sold your painting. The one you gave me.

Philemon. You liked her, didn't you? Or did you just say that out of decency? To cheer me up and support me somehow?

Sasha. No, I wasn't lying. I really liked the painting, but you and I had a real chance to succeed, for which we had to sacrifice the painting we liked. I have one friend — my former client, Vadik. A very wealthy man. He organizes exhibitions and does a lot of other things. I've met him. I showed him your painting, he liked it. I bought it for myself, here's the money, half of it is mine.

He takes half of it for himself.

Sasha. But that's not the main thing. He can promote your work, but not like that, quietly for cash in a pub, but at the official level. You can open an individual entrepreneur and provide several paintings with all the documents, signatures and all that is required, then the price will be completely different for your paintings. Or you can just call, meet with this Vadik, he will arrange everything himself. He liked your style, he's ready to work with you.

Philemon. Em… I don't really like this idea. Your former client, some questionable offers…

Sasha. Don't be jealous of me, please. What happened was what happened. It's already in the past. Now you and I have a real chance to start a new decent life. Who knows, maybe I really got the wrong number for a reason and ended up here with you? Perhaps Fate knows what it's doing?

Philemon. Yeah… It's tempting, of course, but we need to think about it.

Sasha. Think!

They sit down. Sasha defiantly counts the bills. Philemon looks at her, at the money, looks skeptically at his apartment.

Sasha. Listen, why did you decide to become an artist?

Philemon. Firstly, this activity is consonant with me, and secondly, I understood the phrase early: if youth knew, if old age could.

Sasha. Translate it?

Philemon. Often, the experience we get in life gains momentum and reaches a peak when it is almost useless. You already know everything and know how to do it in your field, but you are too old to apply this experience to business. No matter how skilled an athlete is, his success corridor is severely limited by age. Dancers, climbers, models, installers, drivers. Over the years, the wrong speed, the wrong body, the wrong agility, appearance, the wrong look and grip. But, for example, writers, artists, musicians… We can create even in old age. The pressure will jump, we will feel dizzy, we will walk with a stick and hardly get out of our own bed, but for now the hand is able to hold the brush… The experience realizes itself. It's good to be an honorary artist!

Sasha. And on odd — numbered days — a handyman — a covenanter.

Philemon. We're making a joke, then.

Sasha. Sorry.

Philemon. No, you're right. After all, I really have worked with everyone in all this time. The artistic path has never brought me much income.

Sasha. That was before me! And now everything will be different. So what? Have you decided? I am ready to let a completely different stream of wind into my life! Winds of change!

Philemon. Only if you're in this stream.

Sasha. Where am I going to get away from you now? With such money! You are my chicken with golden eggs. Ahem. It sounds kind of ambiguous, but you get what I mean.

Philemon. Clear. It's all about the money.

Sasha. Money, of course. Who needs a fifty-year-old poor unsuccessful artist?

Philemon. Are you kidding me?

Sasha. Yes. I'm kidding, on behalf of Ivy. And on behalf of Sasha, I speak quite sincerely and seriously. Philemon, I like you. I don't want to deceive you, I don't want to pour into your ears worn-out, but, nevertheless, working phrases about love to the grave and all that. As long as we live, we will live as long as we live. But let's at least try? And then we'll see. I'm ready to change for you, I want to change for you, but are you ready to change your life for me?