Anniversarian. A play for 2 people. Comedy

Sasha enters without the painting.

Sasha. What if I like you too?

Philemon. Me?

Sasha. You

, Philemon. To you?

Sasha. To me!

Philemon. Why would that be?

Sasha. But it's that simple! Contrary to all logic!

Philemon. I do not believe. Prove it!

Sasha kisses Philemon passionately.

Philemon. Convincing. Come on in.

They go to the table and sit down.

Sasha. What are we going to do?

Philemon. And what are your suggestions?

Sasha. I don't know. There are none. That's why I'm asking you.

Philemon. Why don't you tell me how you got here first, and then we'll think about everything else?

Sasha. Oh, right. I didn't say that. I just got the apartment mixed up. I was called by a client from fifty-sixth, and I rushed to you, at sixty-fifth. Something flashed in my head, I'm pretty sure it's you. And you don't kick out, you play along with the situation. It's not entirely plausible, but nevertheless.

Philemon. I was waiting for my nephew Sergei and his girlfriend to visit. Moreover, a friend could have come earlier.

Sasha. Did you know the name of this friend?

Philemon. He called his girlfriend Bunny. I thought you were the Bunny.

Sasha. It's clear now. And then you called me a Hare from the doorway, back and forth, let's dance tea and coffee, it seems like everything always started. I didn't suspect anything.

Philemon. No, no. I was talking to you without a second thought back then.

Sasha. And at what point did you have this second thought?

Philemon. I don't know, you'd better tell me about Sergei, whom you were talking about. You're talking about Sergei, and I'm talking about Sergei. At first, everything worked out.

Sasha. Well, I had one client — Sergey. More precisely, not one. I just thought that one of them, one of my former clients, recommended me to you.

Philemon. Exes?

Sasha. What if you and I are together, then you won't mind my work?

Philemon. I will.

Sasha. That's why — exes!

Philemon. Understood. And what about that client from fifty-sixth?

Sasha. It's nothing.

Philemon. And in more detail? If possible.

Sasha. Are you jealous?

Philemon. Me? No-e-e-e.

Sasha. Yeah— no. I can see that yes!

Philemon. What? Is it that noticeable?

Sasha. It's noticeable.

Philemon. And don't provoke me, and it won't be noticeable. So what about this one you've got me confused with?

Sasha. If you're interested in the details, I'll tell you right away. We didn't have anything with him, moreover, he didn't even see me personally, just a profile photo on the work page and that's it.

Philemon. But you said someone paid you for an hour. The hour you spent with me.

Sasha. That's right, he paid for it.

Philemon. So you tricked him? I took the money and…

Sasha. Philemon! Don't think so badly of me. I'm a decent person… I'm sorry, but girls from our, let's say, class are often much more decent than those who imagine themselves to be princesses.

Philemon. Maybe you're right. But did you take the money?

Sasha. What a bore. Look! Otherwise, as you liked it, you'll stop liking it.

They are silent. They look at each other.

Philemon. I'm sorry if I'm bothering you too much with my questions, it's just… Such a situation…

Sasha. Yes, I returned the money to him. I reached his apartment. I stood for a while, thought about it. Then I made a transfer to his phone number, returned the entire amount to a penny and wrote not to wait.

Philemon. Why did you decide to do that? After all, it would be possible…

Sasha. I could have, but that's what I did. I don't know why. I'm sitting here, looking at you, and I'm thinking, why did I do this? Maybe I did something stupid?

Philemon. No, you did the right thing.

Sasha. Thank God, we figured it out. Any more questions?

Philemon. No, no, no. I explained everything clearly.

Sasha. Then I'll ask. Why do you live so modestly? You're a great painter. Talented, I would even say!

Philemon. Oh, Sasha. Talent alone is not enough. Without connections, it is extremely difficult to achieve great success nowadays. There are many talented people, few of those who were able to declare their talent.

Sasha. So why don't you declare?

Philemon. I tried to exhibit at a local gallery. I submitted my works to contests. Some acquaintances appeared, but nothing serious. I live mainly on portraits. Well, the sabbaths, of course, are much better without them. I have enough to live on, but for the soul I paint pictures like the one that I gave you.

Sasha. This is understandable. And why was I alone today? I understood that you are a simple, modest artist, but this is not a reason for those who were invited not to come.

Philemon. I'm telling you. The ex-wife and children are leaving tonight on a burning ticket to Vietnam. Packing, departure to the airport is not up to me.

Sasha. M… there are children, then.

Philemon. There is. Son and daughter. Pasha and Alina. They are already adults. They're about your age.

Sasha. M..