Crazy Rich Asians

“Why? What’s happening to Sina Land?” Eleanor asked.

“Sina Land toh tuew. It’s going to collapse,” the dato’ declared with a satisfied grin.

“But Sina Land is blue-chip. How can that be? My brother even told me they have all these new projects in western China,” Lorena argued.

“The Chinese government, my source assures me, has pulled out of that huge new development in Xinjiang. I just unloaded my shares and I’m shorting a hundred thousand shares every hour until market closes.” With that, the dato’ expelled a big puff of smoke from his Cohiba and pressed a button next to the bed. The vast wall of glass facing the sparkling swimming pool began to tilt forty-five degrees like an enormous cantilevered garage door, and the dato’ lumbered out into the garden toward the main house.

For a few seconds, the room went absolutely still. You could almost hear the wheels in each woman’s head whirling into overdrive. Daisy suddenly jumped up from her chair, spilling the tray of noodles onto the floor. “Quick, quick! Where’s my handbag? I need to call my broker!”

Eleanor and Lorena both scrambled for their cell phones as well. Nadine had her stockbroker on speed dial and was already screaming into her phone, “Dump all of it! SINA LAND. Yes. Dump it all! I just heard from the horse’s mouth that it’s gone case!”

Lorena was on the other end of the bed, cupping her phone close to her mouth. “Desmond, I don’t care, please just start shorting it now.”

Daisy began to hyperventilate. “Sum toong, ah!^§ I’m losing millions by the second! Where is my bloody broker? Don’t tell me that moron is still at lunch!”

Carol calmly reached for the touch-screen panel by her bedside table. “Mei Mei, can you please come in and clean up a spill?” Then she closed her eyes, lifted her arms into the air, and began to pray aloud: “Oh Jesus, our personal lord and savior, blessed be your name. We come to you humbly asking for your forgiveness today, as we have all sinned against you. Thank you for showering your blessings upon us. Thank you Lord Jesus for the fellowship that we shared today, for the nourishing food we enjoyed, for the power of your holy word. Please watch over dear Sister Eleanor, Sister Lorena, Sister Daisy, and Sister Nadine, as they try to sell their Sina Land shares …”

Carol opened her eyes for a moment, noting with satisfaction that Eleanor at least was praying along with her. But of course, she couldn’t know that behind those serene eyelids, Eleanor was praying for something else entirely. A Taiwanese girl! Please God, let it not be true.

* A highly regarded honorific title in Malaysia (similar to a British knighthood) conferred by a hereditary royal ruler of one of the nine Malay states. The title is often used by Malay royals to reward powerful businessmen, politicians, and philanthropists in Malaysia, Singapore, and Indonesia, and some people spend decades sucking up just to get the title. The wife of a dato’ is called a datin.

† Literally “yellow flowering pear,” an exceedingly rare type of rosewood now virtually extinct. In recent decades, Huanghuali furniture has become highly sought after by discerning collectors. After all, it goes so well with mid-century modern.

‡ Malay for “not accurate.”

§ Cantonese for “my heart aches.”

3

Rachel Chu

NEW YORK

It would be just after dinnertime in Cupertino, and on the nights she wasn’t at Nick’s, it became Rachel’s habit to call her mother right as she was getting into bed.

“Guess who just closed the deal on the big house on Laurel Glen Drive?” Kerry Chu boasted excitedly in Mandarin as soon as she picked up the phone.

“Wow, Mom, congratulations! Isn’t that your third sale this month?” Rachel asked.

“Yes! I broke last year’s office record! You see, I knew I made the right decision to join Mimi Shen at the Los Altos office,” Kerry said with satisfaction.

“You’re going to make Realtor of the Year again, I just know it,” Rachel replied, re-fluffing the pillow under her head. “Well, I have some exciting news too … Nick invited me to come with him to Asia this summer.”