Mardock Scramble

The one called the Doctor: a tall, lanky man. Splotchy hair, Tech Glasses, a reddish-brown half-coat that covered a colorful patchwork of a doctor’s gown, with syringes, portable microscopes and all sorts of other contraptions hanging from the chest and waist. It was as if the lead singer in a psychedelic band had suddenly decided to say Look at me, I’m a doctor now. And then—

Even more bizarre than that. A golden mouse perched on the Doctor’s shoulder.

“Anyway, look after her, will you—she could turn out to be a new buddy.”

“Yup, though at the moment she’s more body than buddy.”

The golden mouse just looked at Balot, completely ignoring the Doctor’s reply.

The mouse’s dim red eyes seemed to contain hidden depths, as if he were a mature, older man. The tiny pants that he was wearing as if to cover up a bulging belly—held in place by a tiny pair of suspenders hanging off his shoulders—seemed hilarious to the girl.

Sharp, focused golden whiskers. And she could see in his solemn face a gentleness that she’d never encountered before.

Their eyes met unexpectedly. A clear expression of concern flickered across the golden mouse’s face.

“She’s conscious. She looked at me.”

“Well, she’s drugged to the hilt with morphine, and with these burns she’s not in a state to take in anything at the moment. Anyway, you’re going to be partners, right? You should at least be prepared for her to see you.”

“Generally speaking women aren’t too keen on mice…” The golden mouse’s eyes were a little downcast. The Doctor stroked his little back as if to say There, there.

Balot tried to move herself in order to see them better, but could barely lift a finger and just lay there shaking. She realized in some faint way that she was ensconced in a large capsule. She felt a strange sense of security, floating, surrounded by foam, steeped in liquid, in an egg-shaped portable pod designed for intensive care. Her whole body, scorched through, in fetal position, barely able to lift a finger—floated in that bulky egg.

Shell…

The word drifted through her mind, suddenly with different feelings, associations…

And she dozed off the moment she closed her eyes, losing consciousness again.

While Balot lay half dreaming, the Doctor and the mouse held a curious conversation.

“Memory loss?” The mouse’s querulous voice chirped up. The Doctor’s voice answered. Balot opened her eyelids a crack and looked out through the solution she was suspended in to see the back of the Doctor’s head, covered in its tie-dyed hair.

“Yup, that’s my guess, based on the stress and pleasure levels that you sensed coming from him. The side effects of his A-10 surgery. Whenever it feels under stress, part of the brain selectively destroys the gestalt. A sort of suicide of the memory, so to speak. That’s Shell’s dirty little secret.”

“Suicide of the memory…”

“And it looks like it was triggered by the murder of the girl. There’s some connection. Each time he kills a girl, he probably forgets that he’s done so, but then finds another similar girl and kills again. A sort of ritual. Let’s see, something like those ancient Eastern religions that wouldn’t recognize the existence of a widow.”

“What?”

“Widows had to be immolated along with their dead husbands. There were cases when the woman objected and had to be doused with gasoline and burnt to death. I think this is similar to that.”

It appeared that the Doctor was now driving. From the back seat where Balot was placed she could see the mouse perched on his shoulder nodding along to the conversation.

“So, Doc, the death wish I could smell from the man was his memories committing suicide? And the girl was dragged along as part of a ritual designed for stress relief?”

“That fits with everything we know. We’ve never psycho-analyzed Shell directly, so we can’t know for sure in detail. But knowing that you’re about to lose your memories—that’d be incredibly stressful. Part of your mind is going to go. Maybe it’s not surprising he wants to drag someone along for the ride. He probably sees it as romantic in his own way, killing a little girl along with his memory.”

That man will die too.

This was the one fact that registered in Balot’s hazy state of consciousness. My Shell. The man that gave me—a Teen Harlot from the slums—an identity, even if only for a moment. The man that was trying to rise to the top in this city—what a pathetic way for him to die. She felt pity, which then changed into an intoxicating thought: I’ll die with him. Her sort-of compassion.

If there were ever a moment when her compassion for others could redeem her then this was it.

“It’s hardly decent to try and explain away his actions as romantic…”

Balot’s feelings were shattered in an instant by the mouse’s words.