Princess' Diaries

This only happens when I drink something hot and then eat bread. I don’t know why. It had never happened at the Plaza before, but all of a sudden my dad is like, "Mia, I want you to know the truth. I think you’re old enough now, and the fact is, now that I can’t have any more children, this will have a tremendous impact on your life, and it’s only fair I tell you. I am the prince of Genovia."

And I was all, "Really, Dad?"Hiccup.

"Your mother has always felt very strongly that there wasn’t any reason for you to know, and I agreed with her. I had a very . . .  well,unsatisfactory childhood—"

He’s not kidding. Life with Grandmère couldn’t have been anypicque-nicque.Hiccup.

"I agreed with your mother that a palace is no place to raise a child." Then he started muttering to himself, which he always does whenever I tell him I’m a vegetarian, or the subject of Mom comes up. "Of course, at the time I didn’t think she intended to raise you in abohemian artist’s loft inGreenwich Village, but I will admit that it doesn’t seem to have done you any harm. In fact, I think growing up in New York City instilled you with a healthy amount of skepticism about the human race at large—"

Hiccup.And he had never evenmet Lana Weinberger.

"—which is something I didn’t gain until college, and I believe is partly responsible for the fact that I have such a difficult time establishing close interpersonal relationships with women—"

Hiccup.

"What I’m trying to say is, your mother and I thought by not telling you we were doing you a favor. The fact was, we never envisioned that an occasion might arise in which you might succeed the throne. I was only twenty-five when you were born. I felt certain I would meet another woman, marry her, and have more children. But now, unfortunately, that will never be. So, the fact is, you, Mia, are the heir to the throne of Genovia."