Spyware

The virus, sir! came the reply. Just look at the news! Company stocks are tanking. Websites are shutting down. All because you personally killed the internet. I’m impressed.

Don’t be. I didn’t do it.

\(*o*)/ Of course not. As you say, sir.

Ray sighed to himself. He supposed he was an obvious suspect. Nog had done his work well.

Look, he typed, I didn’t do it and what’s more I know who did.

Okay, okay, I’ll suspend my disbelief and hero worship for the moment. Why did you ask to talk to me? Just to give me the thrill of a net conversation with a fugitive felon?

First, let me ask you this: have you ever put together a virus?

Not a fair question!

It’s totally fair. You asked me the same thing in class, remember?

There was a pause. Ray wondered what kind of squirming was going on at the other end of the line.

Wait a minute. Don’t tell me you’ve got the feds there and now you’re fishing for a confession! I’m just a grad-student, remember.

Exactly, typed Ray. You’re a computer science grad-student. Suspect number One-A. And be serious, there aren’t any feds in the country that could sit still while I type away online to prove my innocence. I think they’d all sooner break my fingers.

There was another pause, then, Sure, so I’ve dabbled in the black arts. Can I still be a jedi?

Ray breathed deeply. He had contacted the right woman. He needed a hacker in his corner. The truth about technology was that the older, more experienced individual wasn’t the best. Computer scientists were more like gymnasts than normal, staid engineering-types. An older person could still be hot and produce solid work, but it was part of the nature of humans that you stopped wanting to learn a thousand new things every day about when you turned thirty. Families, daily pursuits, just having a life, all these things prevented older people from being the best techies. The true stars were almost always young, usually in their early twenties. Unattached people with too much in the way of brains and curiosity seemed to do the best. They lived on the net, poked into every forgotten crevice of their machines, were fascinated and excited by every newly developed gizmo. Ray had lost that edge about five years ago, and he knew it.

As long as you repent, Leia, you will be anointed, he typed.

So, what would you need from this newly unveiled amateur hacker?

First, I need a better handle on this system. I’m in as an unqualified user right now, and the sysop will probably take a week or two to knock me up to getting my own signature on the boards. I want full permissions. I want to run the place.

Hmm. A tough one with the current demand, but I happen to know one of the superuser account names: foghorn.

All lower case?

Yes.

What’s the password?

I’ll give you three guesses…

Ray frowned for a moment, then smiled. Leghorn? he typed.

You got it in one! came the reply. I guess I was never really good at security. Can I do anything else for you?

I want to eavesdrop. I want to be a fly on an electronic wall.

Ah, I have just the thing for you.