Teresa, My Love: An Imagined Life of the Saint of Avila

LA MADRE. “Bravo!” “Superb!” “Majestic Haydn!” Are those your words or mine? I am not very musical, Majesty, as is well known, and you honor me by associating me to that sort of faith which music is…being the most spiritual…or rather the most physical…that is, both at the same time…or not? (Dreamy voice.) Majestic, yes, that’s what you called the little brother of the greater Haydn, for you could see he wasn’t so little…a Kapellmeister of Salzburg Cathedral, no less.…The young Mozart will learn a lot about sacred music from Michael, no secret there.…He mentions him in letters to his father Leopold.…They will remain friends, even after Wolfgang’s turbulent break with Prince-Archbishop Colloredo.…Music specialists will have a great deal to say about him, as time goes by…yes, I assure you.…Some will point out that Mozart’s celebrated Requiem has much in common with the Requiem composed by Michael on the death of Prince-Archbishop Sigismund von Scrattenbach, another friend of Amadeus. But we’re not at the requiem stage yet, are we, Majesty?…In my case, at least.…Sing on, my daughter, and may God bless your lovely voice.…(Peaceful smile, falls asleep.)

EMPRESS MARIA THERESA, solo voice for the Benedictus, once again an unusual choice for Haydn in his homage to the empress and the saint. “Benedictus qui venit in nomine Domini.…”

TERESITA, crouching at the foot of the bed. It seems the empress is giving her voice to La Madre.…What am I saying, La Madre gave her voice to her.…

ANA DE SAN BARTOLOMÉ. Is this really a Mass? It sounds more like a prayer, the sound of peace.…

(Empress Maria Theresa is oblivious. She exits, carried on the Benedictus by Michael Haydn.)

La Madre’s spirit floats over the eighty-eight towers of fortified Avila, protected under the hem of the Virgin’s blue cloak. At the same time she addresses the cortege of dark female silhouettes filing past her bed:

TERESA, in a chanting voice. Farewell, ladies, I am on my way to different skies. (Pause.) With no regrets. That is, I don’t think so. (Subtle smile.) You did a good job of filling my life, as I filled yours. Enough is enough.…

The procession of nuns and prioresses includes Isabel de Santo Domingo, Isabel de San Pablo, Isabel de los Ángeles, Ana de los Ángeles.…

TERESA. If the soul is a woman, she grieves to see that her nature, or rather her sex, hinders and ties her down. (Reading.) “Si es mujer, se aflige del atamiento que le hace su natural.…(Short silence, then rapidly.) She can’t enter into the midst of the world to praise God.…And she envies those who have the freedom to cry out and spread the news about this great God of hosts.…(Short silence.) Those who are free to proclaim to all the world the greatness of the God of cavalries.”⁵⁵ (Turned toward them, gazes after the procession of women leaving the scene.)

(La Madre’s head rolls back onto the fluorescent white pillow, an exceptional concession to the dying in this Spartan place.)

(Long silence. A voice is heard in the distance.)

When the breeze blew from the turret

Parting his hair,

He wounded my neck

With his gentle hand,

Suspending all my senses.”⁵⁶

TERESA. What song is that? I never wrote that.…(Voice breaking.) Could it be dear John of the Cross speaking through my lips? Is that you, Father, by my side?

(The voice stills. The eighty-eight towers, a glimmering girdle of Avila blue, encircle the dying body of La Madre.)

Chapter 31. ACT 2: Her Eliseus

I knelt down and promised that for the rest of my life I would do everything Master Gratian might tell me.…

Teresa of Avila, Spiritual Testimonies

It will seem inappropriate that he should have informed me of so many personal matters about his soul.…he told me about these things and additional ones that cannot be suitably put in writing.…

Teresa of Avila, The Foundations

ANGELA, a code name for Teresa in correspondence with Jerome Gratian

LAURENCIA, ditto

LA MADRE, out of breath