The Complete Yes Minister

‘Yes,’ he said, ‘to the Leader of the House Committee. And then to Parliament – where there’s the Committee stage of course.’

But suddenly the penny dropped. Suddenly I realised he was blurring the whole issue. A blindfold dropped away from my eyes, as if by magic. ‘Humphrey,’ I said, ‘you’re talking about legislation – but I’m talking about administrative and procedural changes.’

Sir Humphrey smiled complacently. ‘If members of the public are to have the right to take legal action, then legislation is necessary and it will be very complicated.’

I had the answer to that. ‘Legislation is not necessary in order for the citizen to be able to see his own file, is it?’

Sir Humphrey thought carefully about this. ‘No-o-o-o,’ he finally said, with great reluctance.

‘Then we’ll go ahead with that.’ Round one to me, I thought.

But Sir Humphrey had not yet conceded even that much. ‘Minister,’ he began, ‘we could manage that slightly quicker, but there are an awful lot of administrative problems as well.’

‘Look,’ I said, ‘this must have come up before. This Data Base has been in preparation for years, it hasn’t just materialised overnight – these problems must have been discussed.’

‘Yes indeed,’ he agreed.

‘So what conclusions have been reached?’ I asked.

Sir Humphrey didn’t reply. At first I thought he was thinking. Then I thought he hadn’t heard me, for some curious reason. So I asked him again: ‘What conclusions have been reached?’ a little louder, just in case. Again there was no visible reaction. I thought he’d become ill.

‘Humphrey,’ I asked, becoming a little concerned for his health and sanity, ‘can you hear me?’

‘My lips are sealed,’ he replied, through unsealed lips.

I asked him what exactly he meant.

‘I am not at liberty to discuss the previous government’s plans,’ he said. I was baffled.

‘Why not?’ I asked.

‘Minister – would you like everything that you have said and done in the privacy of this office to be revealed subsequently to one of your opponents?’

I’d never thought of that. Of course, I’d be absolutely horrified. It would be a constant threat. I would never be able to speak freely in my own office.

Sir Humphrey knew that he’d scored a bull’s-eye. He pressed home his advantage. ‘We cannot give your political opponents ammunition against you – nor vice versa.’

Of course, I can see his point but there is one essential difference in this instance. I pointed out to Sir Humphrey that Tom Sargent was my predecessor, and he wouldn’t mind. He’s a very decent chap. After all, the Data Base is not a party political matter, politicians of all parties are united on this.

But Sir Humphrey wouldn’t budge. ‘It’s the principle, Minister,’ he said, and added that it just wouldn’t be cricket.

This was a powerful argument. Naturally I don’t want to do anything that’s not cricket. So I suppose I’ll never know what went on before I came here. I can’t see a way round that.

So where have we got to? We’ve established that we don’t need legislation to enable the citizen to see his own file, but that there are numerous unspecified admin. problems that have to be solved first.

One other thing occurred today. Bernard said that because of the adverse (Bernard called it ‘not entirely favourable’) press reaction to my appearance on Topic, the other network wants me to appear on their programme World in Focus. Funny how television is never interested when you’ve got an important announcement to make, but the moment some trivial thing goes wrong the phone never stops ringing. At first I told him to decline, but he said that if I don’t appear they’ll do the item anyway, and no one will be there to state my case.

I asked Humphrey what I was to say about safeguards for the Data Base, in view of our very limited progress today. ‘Perhaps you could remind them, Minister, that Rome wasn’t built in a day.’

Big help!

As I review the meeting, writing it all down for this diary, I now feel that I got absolutely nowhere today. But there must be some way to get Sir Humphrey and the DAA to do what I tell them.

[In the light of Hacker’s experience and frustrations, it is as well to remember that if a Whitehall committee is not positively stopped, it will continue. There could be a Crimea committee, for all we know. There is very probably a ration-book committee and an identity-card committee – Ed.]

January 12th

Today, by a lucky chance, I learned a bit more about dealing with Sir Humphrey.

I bumped into Tom Sargent, in the House of Commons smoking room. I asked if I could join him, and he was only too pleased.

‘How are you enjoying being in Opposition?’ I asked him jocularly.