The Last Samurai

2065. Exactly. Just think Ludo in 2065 people will probably consider it absolutely BARBARIC that a child should be condemned to work 12 years without pay in absolute economic subjection to the adults into whose keeping fate has consigned it and BARBARIC that people should be brought into the world into circumstances they did not choose and then COMPELLED to remain REGARDLESS and they will not know which is more surprising, the absolute SILENCE on these subjects at the present time or the absolute RUBBISH routinely published on the subject of marriage between members of the same sex in papers which PURPORT to

Is Red Devlin my father? I asked.

She said:

I don’t want to talk about it.

She did not come to earth. My mother was now on a planet with a deadly atmosphere and gravitational force of 17. Leaning heavily on the chair and looking down at The Eskimo Book of Knowledge she said after a pause with a gallant effort:

But what a marvellous language let’s see kakortarsu is obviously the white fox so we’ve got kakortarsu kakortarsuk kakortarsungnik kakortarsuit and there’s puije and puijit for seal further up the page it looks like puije is the accusative puijit is the nominative which would make kakortarsuit nominative piojorniningillo is vanity on the previous page we seem to have puijevinit seal meat puijevinekarnersaularposelo you will also gain a greater supply of seal meat I’ve always wanted to learn a agglutinative language

I said: Three’s not enough?

She said: I feel like learning another it’s wonderful to think of a language like this in DAILY USE. She said: I wonder what the Inuit would be for veritable cathedral of ice!

I didn’t say anything.

She said:

Oh LOOK it’s got the Inuit for God Save the King!

The planet Saturn has a gravitational force of only 1.07 and she began to sing

Gûdib saimarliuk

Adanterijavut

NâlengnartoK.

Piloridlarlune

Nertornadlarlune

Ataniotile

Uvaptingnut.

I said:

Is it James Hatton?

JAMES HATTON! said Sibylla. Why the man’s a veritable colossus!

She said:

I’ve got to work.

I got the impression I was wasting my time on The Eskimo Book of Knowledge. I thought: Well, maybe this year I’ll pass the test, and I went to look at the postcard of Greek Girls Playing at Ball, by Lord Leighton, which Sibylla had shown me years before. Abstract expressionism this is not, but I still couldn’t see what I was supposed to see. Then I read the magazine article for the 500th time, but I couldn’t see what I was supposed to see. Then I listened to the tape of Liberace, which is obviously complete and utter crap.

Sibylla said: Would you mind not playing that? I’m trying to work.

I said: I can see the tape is crap. Isn’t that enough?

She looked at me.

I said: How do you know you’re not wrong about the other two?

She looked at me.

I said: Why don’t you tell me what you think is wrong so I can decide for myself?

She looked at me with burning eyes.

I said: Why won’t you tell me who he is? Do you want me to promise not to tell him? I have a right to know.

She said: Well I have a right to remain silent.

She said: If you don’t need me for anything I’m going to watch Seven Samurai for a while.

She turned off the computer. It was about 11:30. So far she had spent about 8 minutes typing which at £6.25 an hour meant she had earned about 83p.

She picked up the remote and pressed ON and PLAY.

40 bandits stop on a hill above a village in Japan. They decide to raid it after the barley harvest. A farmer overhears.

A village meeting is held. The farmers despair.

Rikichi leaps to his feet with burning eyes.

Let’s make bamboo spears! Let’s run ’em all through!

Not me, says Yohei.

Impossible, says Manzo.

I used to take her word for it. But what if she’s wrong? A new book by the author of the magazine article came out last month. According to the reviews he is one of the greatest writers of our time.

The farmers consult old Giseku.

I said: According to the reviews the author of the magazine article is one of the greatest writers of our time.

Sibylla said yes and Alma-Tadema fetched more than Michelangelo for a while.

He tells them to find hungry samurai.

I said: According to one reviewer this writer I am supposed to regard from a state of grace beyond pity is the greatest writer in English in the world today. Another described him as America’s answer to Flaubert. A third referred to him as the great chronicler of the American experience. Nine out of ten reviewers gave him a rating of ‘great’ or better. Five used the word ‘genius’.