The Stainless Steel Rat for President

"Stop!" I ordered-and they obeyed. "I can understand how you feel. But you are going to see justice done. I am going to prefer charges against this man in a court of law and we will see if the law of the land is still observed in this fair city. " As soon as we were clear of the press of the crowd we picked up speed, then did not stop again until we got to the hotel. The main reason that the Hotel Gran Parajero had been picked was because of its underground garage. Our little convoy hurtled down into it, and all the other cars circled about mine until the area was declared safe. While this was going on I had gone through the gunman's pockets and had found his identification. He was so stupid that he had actually gone out on this assassination mission and taken this along. I read aloud.

"This says that he is a member of the Federal Health Alteration Committee. What in the world is that?" The marqu6z nodded grimly.

"You would not know. But that is the official name of the Ultimados. Killers!" "But not too good at it." As though to prove my words the unconscious Ultimado came to life and pulled a large knife from his belt. I kicked him in the head and he dropped it and sank back again. I bent and seized him up and threw him over my shoulder. "I'll carry him, de Torres, you bring the gun. The press will be waiting and we will really give them something to write about. " We made an impressive sight as we barged into the main ballroom which had' been set up for the press meeting. Cameras whirled and flashed and the crowd of newsmen buzzed and stirred like a hornet's nest. They were all there, newspapers, radio, TV, everything. Now the campaign would really begin.

I dropped the Ultimado onto the floor at my feet, then turned to face the press. I raised a clenched fist over my head and glared out ominously as I leaned close to the waiting microphones.

"Do you know what is in my hand? Bullets. Bullets that were fired at me just a few minutes ago." I threw the slugs down and pointed to the limp figure. "And this is the man who fired those bullets at me-from the very gun that the Marquez de la Rosa is waving angrily over his head. He is as angry as I am. We have just begun this peaceful and democratic campaign when we have been shot at. And not by any common assassin. I have this creature's ID here. Do you recognize it? He is an Ultimado, one of the criminals employed by the dictator Zapilote. Now you know why you must reject this evil dictator at the ballot box and vote for me!

"For I will bring peace and freedom to Paraiso-Aqui at last. Vote for me and this planet will finally live up to its name. Vote! Vote! Vote!" The campaign had begun. And when the news came out the entire world would know what was really happening.

Chapter 21

"Not a mention of any kind!" Angelina famed. "Nothing in the evening papers, nothing on television-not a single word on the radio. There is a complete news blackout." "Of course," I said, nodding sagely as I brushed bits of dinner from my beard. "We expected nothing less. Did you have any doubts at all that the press was compromised? But doubts are one thing, proof another. And now we can prove it. We'll see if we can make tomorrow's news just a mite more interesting. But for the moment we must think about the rally. How is it going?" "The stadium has been filled to overflowing for the last hour and we are running out of bean sandwiches. Viewing screens and loudspeakers have been set up all around the stadium for those who couldn't get in." "Any tourists in the crowd?" "A lot of them. They seem to think that the whole thing is a lot of fun. " "It would be a lot less fun if they weren't there. Zapilote must be getting desperate by now. I doubt if he will do anything drastic during the rally with the tourists present. But afterwards..." "You watch your step." "My love, I have every intention of doing just that. Shall we go?" We went. With all the defensive screens of the votemobile full on. And other precautions as well. We remained inside the garage until a spotter in the hotel above gave us the go-ahead signal. As soon as this arrived the car gunned out into the street-to slip into the gap between two tourist buses. The ofiworlders were still my best insurance. When we left the highway at the stadium we picked up an escort of pink outrider cars and continued in convoy as we worked our way through the crowds. There was something new outside 116 the entrance. A flexiglass tent with a dozen or more disgruntledlooking men inside it. A jeering crowd surrounded them and pelted the tent with empty wine bottles and stale bean sandwiches.

"And the significance of this?" I asked James, who came forward to greet us.