Will You Love Me in September

The exposure had affected her so much that it was clear within a day or so that she was about to miscarry and that her life was in danger. She had been an invalid when she was in her teens and had suffered from rheumatic fever, which had left her unable to leave her couch. Then the miracle had happened. She had met Jeremy and made the almost superhuman effort to rescue me. This had done something to Damaris; and although she had never been strong, she had been able to lead a normal life. Giving birth to Sabrina had been an ordeal for her although she had survived and wanted another child; but her health was not such as to allow her to expose herself with impunity to such an ordeal as that which she had undergone to save Sabrina.

And now ... this miscarriage. It was a time of great suspense while we waited to hear news of her. I felt the house closing in on me ... triumphant, almost ... the house of shadows, the house of menace, where evil was waiting to catch those who dared live in the place.

Strange ... for it had been my home once and I had never noticed it then.

Sabrina recovered rapidly. After the first day she was sitting up in bed eating heartily.

Nanny Curlew had decreed that she should stay in bed, and after what had happened-which was the result of her disobedience-she was for once submissive.

But the old Sabrina was ready to break out at any moment until Jeremy came to her.

I was there, so I saw it happen, but it was only afterward that I understood that something very significant was happening to Sabrina.

Jeremy was fond of the child, but beyond anything in the world he loved Damaris.

Damaris represented salvation to him. Having read their story, I now knew what she did for him. He had been morose and unhappy, resentful of life, shutting himself away, believing that nothing good could ever happen to him. Then she came along-a girl physically handicapped, as he was-to show him that there was something worthwhile for him in life after all. He had been with her when she came to rescue me in Paris, and I felt deeply about them, because I had played a part in their story.

He had seen Damaris' courage during that adventure; he had realized her selflessness.

She was his salvation; together they had built a new life.

Jeremy was still something of a misanthrope. He would never throw off that morbid streak in his nature. He expected disaster rather than good fortune, and luck to be bad rather than good. He was the absolute antithesis of Lance.

He was now in a state of deep despair. It was not only that he was disappointed in the loss of the child; his great anxiety was for Damaris. Her exposure on the ice would very likely bring back that affliction which had come to her in her youth.

He was certain this would be so. Worse than that even-she was very ill, and knowing Jeremy, I realized that in his mind he had already buried her and had drifted back into the lonely, frustrated existence which had been his before Damaris came into his life.

His face was pale and his dark eyes glowed. I had never seen him look as he did now.

Sabrina sat up in bed staring at him.

She had always been a little unsure of her father. Perhaps he was not quite so susceptible to her charm as most of us were; and she knew, of course, that a great deal of trouble had been caused by her naughtiness. She did not know then how much.

He stood at the end of the bed, looking at her almost distastefully and as though he wanted to put as great a distance as possible between her and himself.

Her lovely eyes were wide as she stared back at him and her lips were trembling.

He said nothing for a moment, and Sabrina, who could never bear silences cried out, "Papa ... I ... I'm sorry ...”

"Sorry!" he said, and he looked at her as though he hated her. "You are a wicked girl," he went on. "Do you know what you have done to your mother? She has lost the baby she wanted. And she is ill ... very ill. You were told the pond was dangerous and that you were to keep away from it. You were forbidden to go on ...”

"I didn't know ..." began Sabrina.

"You knew you were doing wrong. You went out to skate when you were told not to, and your mother risked her life saving yours. It may be that you have killed her....”

I cried out involuntarily, "Oh, no ... no ... please ...”

But he did not look at me. He turned and went out of the room.

Sabrina was still staring before her. Then she turned to me and flung herself against me. Sobs shook her body; she cried and cried. I stroked her hair and tried to comfort her, but there was no comforting Sabrina. For the first time in her life she had come face to face with a situation from which her charm could not extricate her.

It was a very sad household. Anxieties over Damaris grew. She had lost the child, but that was not all. She was very ill indeed, and it was not only Jeremy's pessimism that pointed to the fact that she might not recover.