Will You Love Me in September

Priscilla and Arabella came over to Enderby every day, though there was nothing any of us could do. I was deeply concerned about Sabrina too, for she had changed drastically.

She had lost her gaiety and had become silent, almost sullen. Nanny Curlew said, "She's as naughty as ever, though in a different way. She's more trouble than any child I ever had to handle. She teases dear little Jean-Louis. I think she's jealous of him.”

I sat with Damaris often, for she seemed to derive comfort from my presence. "She cares so much for you," Priscilla told me. "You mean a great deal to her.”

I took Sabrina with me one day. She did not want to go, but I persuaded her.

Damaris smiled at her daughter and held out her hand. Sabrina shrank from it, but I whispered, "Go on, take it. Tell your mother how much you love her.”

Sabrina took the hand and stared defiantly at her mother.

"Bless you, my darling," said Damaris, and I saw Sabrina's face soften. I think she was near to tears.

She needs gentleness now, I thought, as never before. Jeremy had wounded her deeply.

It was wrong of him. She was only a child. She had acted thoughtlessly, mischievously-but that was all. I could see that Sabrina needed the love Damaris could give her, but Damaris was ill and I felt I must make Sabrina my special care.

It was time, of course, that we left Enderby. I knew that Lance had business on the country estate and could guess that he was longing to be in London. Aimee was restive too. Enderby was not a happy house to be in at this time.

I talked about it with Lance. He admitted that he wanted to go back, but I said I should not be happy leaving Enderby while the fate of Damaris was still uncertain.

I was worried about Sabrina. Being Lance, he understood immediately.

"But we can't all stay here," he said. "There are too many of us. Besides, I think we are a bit of a drain on the household.”

I thought fleetingly that he would find it dull here. We had intended to stay only for the Christmas festivities. Here there was no gambling. It might be frowned on at Eversleigh. Lance must find the quiet life of the country without such flutters very dull.

We arranged that Lance should go back to London and that Aimee, with Jean-Louis and Nanny Goswell, should accompany him, leaving me to stay a while until we knew for certain that Damaris would recover.

Jeanne shook her head over the decision. It was not good, she said, for husband and wife to live apart.

"Live apart!" I cried. "We are not living apart. It is only until iy aunt Damaris has recovered.”

"Meanwhile he go off ... with Madame Aimee? I do not like.”

"Oh, Jeanne, don't be so melodramatic.”

"They gamble together. Such a beautiful man ... and a woman like that." Jeanne narrowed her eyes. "She is ...”

"Yes, I know. She is French, and so are you, so you know. That's it, is it not?”

'You may not laugh always," said Jeanne ominously.

Seen in the Looking Glass

Damaris did recover, but not completely so. She was very weak, but we were all overjoyed when she showed signs of improvement.

Jeremy was still cool with Sabrina, and I knew that there was something smouldering in the child.

I was able to talk with Damaris, which was a relief.

"Poor Sabrina," I said, "she feels this deeply. I know you will understand how this has affected her. She knows it was her fault ... all the trouble, your illness, the worry everyone has had. Dear Aunt Damaris, I know you will understand.”

She did of course, and she thanked me, with tears in her eyes, for what I had done for Sabrina. I said I had done nothing. She was the one who had done everything.

Giving Sabrina life ... and then saving it.

"She is my baby, of course-as you were once, Clarissa.”

"I know. But I am able to take care of myself now. Sabrina isn't. You will know how to make her happy again.”

I used to take Sabrina with me when I went to see her mother. At first she continued to regard Damaris with something like revulsion, which was due to the fact that she was responsible for her being in bed. But after a while Damaris' gentle nature and her love prevailed. The barrier was broken. Sabrina would sit on the bed and I would tell stories and play games, such as "I spy with my little eye," which meant that the others had to guess the object I was looking at, and the one who guessed took the turn of selecting the next; and very soon we had Sabrina rolling about the bed in fits of laughter. This mood did not always last, but it was good to see the old Sabrina coming out now and then; and I knew that Damaris understood perfectly.

I then decided that I could leave and that I ought to go back to my home. I explained to Damaris, who understood at once and made a great effort to appear better than she was.

"You must not leave Lance any longer," she said. She turned and took my hand. "Oh, Clarissa, you have brought such happiness into my life ... always. I believe you understand Sabrina better than anyone. She loves you dearly.”