Will You Love Me in September

So I went, taking my dear, faithful Jeanne with me.

It was indeed a house of gloom. Smith was there to greet me, shaking his head sadly.

"Times have changed, Miss Clarissa," he said. "Forgive me. I should say 'my lady,' I know.”

"Miss Clarissa will do very well, Smith," I answered, "just as it used to be in the old days.”

"They've brought him in, miss. He was washed up with the tide. One of the fishermen found him early yesterday morning.”

"I'm glad he was brought home," I said.

"Yes. His funeral will be at the end of the week.”

"Two funerals in such a short time. And Sabrina ... ?”

"It's hard to say," he replied. "You'll see.”

"Where is she?”

He lifted his shoulders. "She went off. Since it happened she's been going off all day and staying away. She drives poor Nanny Curlew crazy.”

"Does she know I'm coming?”

"Oh, yes. She was told.”

"Was she pleased?”

"She didn't say, Miss Clarissa.”

I understood. She guessed I would be arriving some time this day and she had decided to stay away to show me that my coming meant nothing very special to her.

I felt depressed and uneasy.

I stood in the hall looking up at the minstrels' gallery. The haunted hall, where a tragedy had happened years ago. The house had never been rid of tragedy. The things that had happened here had shown that. Perhaps they will sell the house, I thought, now that Jeremy and Damaris are both dead.

As I stood looking up at the gallery my eyes were attracted by a movement there and something told me that Sabrina was up there watching me.

I said, "I'll go to my room.”

"It's all ready for you," Smith told me.

I went up past the gallery, not looking that way, and on to my room. There would be a great deal to decide. This time I must succeed in taking Sabrina back with me.

The door of my room was quietly opened.

"Come in, Sabrina," I said without looking round.

She came in. "How did you know?" she asked.

"Guesswork. You wanted to see me as soon as I arrived. You could have come down.

You would have seen me better than from the gallery.”

"How did you know I was there?”

"The evidence of these eyes.”

"I was hidden.”

"You moved.”

She laughed suddenly, and there was the old mischievous Sabrina.

I turned and held out my arms. She hesitated for a moment and then ran into them.

"Oh, Sabrina ... dear Sabrina ... I am so glad to see you!”

"You like him better, though.”

"Who?”

"Uncle Lance, of course.”

"He's my husband. People want to live with their husbands, you know. I wanted to take you back with me, but your father did not wish it.”

"He's dead," she said. "I'm glad.”

"Hush, Sabrina.”

"Why hush? Aren't people supposed to tell the truth?”

"Yes, but you shouldn't hate anyone.”

"But I do and it's a lie to say I don't. He's lying in his coffin in that room Mama was in. I went in there and put my tongue out at him.”

"Oh ... Sabrina!”

"Why do you keep looking like that and saying 'Sabrina.' I like being an orphan.

It's better than it was before.”

"Everything will be different now I'm here, Sabrina.”

"Why?" she asked.

"Because there are two of us.”

"I don't mind there being one of us.”

I could see that a great deal of harm had been done. I longed to see the return of the carefree if rather willful child who had been so affectionate before the fatal accident on the pond. Then I felt confident that I alone could give her the help she needed.

Smith told me that the funeral would be very quiet. Most people thought that Jeremy's death was not accidental, but there was a possibility that he had gotten into difficulties when swimming. I tried to believe that this was so because that was what he had wanted people to think.

He was laid beside Damaris, which was where I knew he had wanted to be. Sabrina stood beside me during the service and when we were at the graveside. She allowed me to hold her hand, and I think she was pleased that I did so. There were times when I thought she was almost ready to break down and cling to me.

Poor child, she had been deeply wounded, but now there was a chance to save her from her wretchedness, and I was going to do that.

I talked to Leigh and Priscilla after the funeral and told them that I wanted to take Sabrina back with me. They were delighted. Neither of them wanted to have the care of a child-certainly not such a one as Sabrina. Priscilla had been overcome with grief by the death of Damaris, Leigh told me, and the fact that her parents were ailing and were clearly not long for this world was an added blow to her.

"I want to take her away for a while," said Leigh, "but she won't leave her parents.

In time, perhaps ...”

Later Priscilla said to me, "Do you think you can undertake the care of Sabrina, Clarissa? It is rather a responsibility. It won't be easy.”

"I know it won't. But I think I understand her and can look after her. I want to get her to put all that has happened behind her. I want her to stop brooding on it.”