Английский шутя. Английские и американские анекдоты для начального чтения (ASCII-IPA)

Tim stood up and proudly said (Тим поднялся и гордо сказал /to stand-stood-stood/), "She's a doctor (она доктор)."

"That's wonderful (это чудесно). How about you, Amie? (а у тебя, Эми)"

Amie shyly (застенчиво) stood up, scuffed her feet (повозила ногами) and said, "My father is a mailman (мой отец почтальон)."

"Thank you, Amie," said the teacher. "What about your father (а как насчет твоего отца), Billy?"

Billy proudly stood up and announced (объявил; announce [@'nauns]), "My daddy plays piano (мой папа играет на пианино) in a whorehouse (в борделе; whore — проститутка)."

The teacher was aghast (ошеломлена; aghast — пораженный ужасом, ошеломленный [@'ga:st]) and promptly (быстро, тут же) changed the subject to geography (переменила тему на географию). Later that day (позже в тот же день) she went to Billy's house and rang the bell (позвонила в звонок /to ring-rang-rung/).

Billy's father answered the door (открыл дверь; to answer — отвечать). The teacher explained (разъяснила, сообщила) what his son had said (что сказал его сын) and demanded an explanation (и потребовала объяснения).

Billy's father said, "I'm actually an attorney (на самом деле я адвокат). How can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old? (как бы я объяснил это: «как могу я объяснить подобную вещь» семилетнему /ребенку/)"

A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?"

Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."

"That's wonderful. How about you, Amie?"

Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."

"Thank you, Amie," said the teacher. "What about your father, Billy?"

Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse."

The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell.

Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded an explanation.

Billy's father said, "I'm actually an attorney. How can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"

You be first!

How about you?

Answer the door, please!

The saleswoman (продавщица; to sale — продавать) watched as a teen-ager twirled in front of the mirror (наблюдала, как тинэйджер вертится перед зеркалом).

"I adore this dress! (я обожаю = мне очень нравится это платье)" bubbled the girl (пробормотала /восторженно/ девочка, вырвалось у девочки; bubble — пузырь; to bubble — пузыриться, кипеть; бить ключом). "It's absolutely perfect! (оно совершенно замечательное) I'll take it! (я его возьму)"

Then the young shopper paused thoughtfully (затем молоденькая покупательница остановилась, помолчала задумчиво), "But in case my mother likes it (но в том случае, если оно понравится моей маме), can I bring it back? (могу я его вернуть)"

The saleswoman watched as a teen-ager twirled in front of the mirror.

"I adore this dress!" bubbled the girl. "It's absolutely perfect! I'll take it!"

Then the young shopper paused thoughtfully, "But in case my mother likes it, can I bring it back?"

I adore this dress!

I'll take it!