Английский шутя. Английские и американские анекдоты для начального чтения

$chool i$ really great (школа про$то $упер). I am making lot$ of friend$ (я дружу $о многими: «делаю кучи дру$ей») and $tudying very hard (и учу$ь у$иленно). With all my $tuff ($ моей нагру$кой), I $imply can't think of anything I need (я про$то не могу думать о чем-то, в чем я нуждаю$ь), $o if you would like (и е$ли ты хочешь), you can ju$t $end me a card (ты можешь по$лать мне открытку), a$ I would love to hear from you (так как я хочу получить изве$тие от тебя: «у$лышать от тебя»).

Love ($ любовью),

Your $on (твой $ын)

$hlomo

The Reply (ответ):

Dear Shlomo,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy (я знаю, что астроNOмии, экоNOмики и океаNOграфии) are eNOugh to keep (довольNO, чтобы сделать: «держать, удерживать») even an hoNOr student busy (даже почетNOго студента занятым; honor — честь; honor student — особо хорошо успевающий студент, получающий известную долю независимости /в выборе того, чем ему заниматься/. При этом полагаются на его добросовестность — «честь»). Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge (NO не забудь, что погоня за знанием) is a NOble task (благородNOе дело: «задача»), and you can never study eNOugh (и ты не можешь никогда учиться достаточNO).

Love your father,

NOach

Dear Dad,

$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love,

Your $on

$hlomo

The Reply:

Dear Shlomo,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love your father,

NOach

I am making lots of friends.

I am studying very hard.

You can never study enough.

A man walked (один человек пришел: «вошел») into a lawyer's office (в адвокатскую контору) and inquired (спросил, осведомился) about the lawyer's rates (о расценках, сколько берет).

"$50.00 for three questions (за три вопроса)," replied the lawyer (ответил адвокат).

"Isn't that awfully steep? («разве это не ужасно дорого»; steep — высокий, крутой)" asked the man (спросил этот человек).

"Yes," the lawyer replied, "and what was your third question? (а каков ваш третий вопрос)"

A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the lawyer's rates.

"$50.00 for three questions," replied the lawyer.

"Isn't that awfully steep?" asked the man.

"Yes," the lawyer replied, "and what was your third question?"

Isn't that awfully steep?

A Jewish lady calls the newspaper (звонит в газету) and asks for the obituary section (отдел некрологов).

The obit guy asks (парень из отдела некрологов спрашивает), "What can I do for you? (что я могу сделать для вас = чем могу помочь»)"

"I'd like to place an obituary (я хотела бы поместить некролог)."

"Awright (= all right — хорошо, ладно: «все в порядке»), how would you like it to read? (как бы вы хотели, чтобы он звучал: «читался»)"

"Irving Cohen died (умер)."

"That's it? (это /все/) Irving Cohen died?"

"That's it."

"But you get four lines in the obit (но у вас четыре строчки для некролога). It's included in the price (это включено в цену)."

"All right. Irving Cohen died… Cadillac for sale (кадиллак на продажу = продается кадиллак)."

A Jewish lady calls the newspaper and asks for the obituary section.

The obit guy asks, "What can I do for you?"

"I'd like to place an obituary."

"Awright, how would you like it to read?"

"Irving Cohen died."

"That's it? Irving Cohen died?"

"That's it."

"But you get four lines in the obit. It's included in the price."

"All right. Irving Cohen died… Cadillac for sale."

What can I do for you?

It's included in the price.