Girlology: A Girl's Guide to Stuff that Matters

There are other values that depend on the individual and are neither right nor wrong. What’s important is what your values lead you to do. For example, a lot of people value money. This can sometimes cause problems, like if they start to steal to get more money. But valuing money can be good, too. Think about the wealthy person who donates large amounts of money to build houses for homeless people. That’s cool, and nobody would say she was a bad person for valuing money.

Is it bad to value things? Valuing things is called being materialistic. It’s usually used in a negative way, but it’s not so bad if you don’t let it control everything you do, and you have other values that keep it in check.

Let’s say you really value your clothes and makeup. Are you a bad person? Nope. But what if you value clothes and makeup so much that you won’t be friends with someone who doesn’t wear the “right” clothes? Now that’s being shallow. You’d miss out on a lot of great friends if that’s all you based your friendships on. If you value clothes, makeup AND honesty, independence and kindness, then you’re working with a fuller set of values that will make you a happier person and a better friend to others.

These examples show that there are lots of different types of things that we value. We can put them into categories to make it easier to understand. You can value:People and relationships—friends, family members, crushes and boyfriends, pets (sure, pets can be considered people, but if you think about it, it’s probably the way your pet makes you feel and depends on you and even loves you that you value most)Actions—horseback riding, drawing, sports, playing or listening to music

Ideas—honesty, trust, loyalty, humor, fairness, popularity, independence

Things—books, stuffed animals, bicycle, special piece of jewelry, your hair

Think about your values and the values of the people you know.

Do you see similarities in this chart? We bet you do! That’s because most people choose friends based on similar values and beliefs. You might have some differences from your parents, but they have definitely influenced you.

But Why?

Now, remember we told you that you are old enough to start knowing WHY when your parents tell you what they think or want. Let’s think about your own whys. Why do you value the things you listed?

So where are we going with this? As you enter the world of crushes and romance, you need to have a very strong idea about what you value in relationships. Your friends and family have helped you make that list of values. Now it’s time to think ahead about what you would value in your relationship with your true love. Are there certain things and ideas you dream of having in your relationship with your true love?

Some of them will be simple. Let’s look at the categories:People and relationships: Duh, that’s your true love you have to value. Actions: Spending time together in nature, studying together, going to a concert together, riding bikes together, gazing into each other’s eyes. Ideas: Honesty, loyalty, trust, respect.Things: You might value the bracelet he gave you or a note he wrote you.

What else? What other things are really important in a relationship? Think hard . . . how about your body and his body?! That includes your physical and emotional health.

Value Your Body! It’s the Only One You’ve Got!

But wait . . . do YOU value your body? That’s a tough one. We know that a lot of girls DON’T feel good about their bodies. WHY? Is it because magazines have made them feel they don’t look like toothpicky models?

What about you? Do you feel okay about your body? Have kids at school told you your body isn’t good enough? Are you taking care of your body like you should by eating healthy (veggies, water, avoiding fast food and junk food), exercising (sports, walking, getting off the couch and away from the computer), and protecting it from harm (wearing helmets, seat belts, avoiding drugs and alcohol, abstaining from sex or protecting yourself against pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections)?

If you don’t take care of your body, who will? If you don’t take care of it, you lose respect for it. What a shame! Our bodies are amazing things. Think about the five senses (touching, smelling, seeing, tasting, hearing) and the things like music, nature, textures, food and beauty they allow you to experience. Remember all the stuff about growing a baby? Your body is miraculous and helps you DO incredible stuff! Bodies are powerful!