Moscow Noir

Once, a very long time ago, after God created the earth and people divided it up into pieces, one particular town chopped up its own territory. Each ragged piece was attached to a specific district. Only somewhere, in the very rear end of the Eastern District where several boundaries come together, in Elk Island National Park, the police chiefs messed something up. They ended up with an odd piece of land that wasn’t anyone’s at all. A kilometer by a kilometer. No one lost any sleep over this. What kind of crimes could you commit on that pathetic patch of ground? But those who thought like that were wrong. When all the cops in the vicinity realized exactly what their lands bordered on, that patch of ground turned into a living hell. Unidentified corpses were ferried here, and here they rotted away. Local thugs and uniformed officers both came to settle their disputes. They set up meets here, and once, before my very eyes, there was a very real duel. Two young lieutenants fired at each other over a female expert from the district CSI. I was the second for one of them, and I had to stuff my new jacket into the gaping hole in the wounded guy’s belly. He turned white, then gray, and honestly, never before or after have I seen someone’s face change color that fast.

For those who know anything about life and death, the field is a cult location. That’s where we’re going. Actually, we’re nearly there. Coming toward us through the night, through the black branches, reflecting off the thin crust of ice, are the headlights of someone’s car zapping us in the eyes. They’re waiting for us. Voronov has a lot of friends.

“A guy died here once,” Voronov says, addressing no one in particular, and he kills the engine. But I know—he’s continuing my education. He’s teaching me how to live. We get out of the car and look both ways. A junior agent, Khmarin, takes the alcohol and snacks out of the trunk. “It probably took a few days,” Banderas continues. “His car broke down on the parkway and he crawled here. He lay here, rasping, calling for help. All kinds of vermin ate him up.”

“What kind of vermin?”

“All kinds. It’s a national park. They have wild animals here.” He spits a yellow gob long into the snow.

The oncoming car switches its beams to low. Men get out, shivering in their summerweight leather jackets. I know them only vaguely. District criminal investigations. All friends of my new boss. They’re scary, but I’m getting used to them. For them the field is a known quantity. For me it’s still wild and exotic. We shake hands. The men break up into groups while Khmarin and I serve up an improvised meal on the hood of a long American automobile. There are lots of cars, ten or so. They pull up one after the other, forming a lopsided circle. Each on his own side of the field. I’m cutting sausage with fingers stiff from the cold, and I realize that here today they’re going to solve a dozen crimes ranging from serious to very, just like that, easily, plastic cup in hand. One pours for another, the other for a third. They’re cutting deals, and first thing tomorrow morning they’ll start writing reports.

“Does everyone have some?” Voronov asks, lifting a ribbed white cup.

“Aaaaoooo!” the agents respond.

“Down the hatch,” my boss sums up, sending 120 grams of pepper Kristall down his throat in a single motion. We’re lucky. The Kristall factory is the Eastern District agents’ patrimony. At least we drink high-quality vodka.

Adam’s apples are bobbing. Up and down. The cops are getting a buzz on. Stealthily I pour myself a half at the hip. It’s comfy here sitting on this mossy piece of concrete. Slippery but comfy.

The picnic drags on. It’s looking to be dawn soon. I examine the faces of the men surrounding me. They’re stinking drunk but not repulsive. They’re just talking a little louder, and more and more often their hands, with their thick short fingers, slice the air dangerously close to whoever they’re talking to. Yes, the word “danger” right now couldn’t be more accurate. These men, unpredictable and invested with almost limitless power, could do something terrible stone sober, but now …

Another bottle makes the rounds. And another. I’ve stopped counting and stopped being amazed at the foresight of those gathered. How much did they bring? Their business discussions are drawing to a close. Here and there—bursts of laughter. The cops are in a great mood today.

“Banderas!” a cop shouts from the other end of the field. “Listen, they told me that after a liter you can hit nine out of ten with either hand! They were lying, right?”

“No way.” Nikolai Petrovich throws back his heavy head. “They only lied about one thing: it’s ten out of ten. Even after two.”

The field laughs. This slippery topic ought to be shut down, it seems to me, and I even open my mouth, but they get ahead of me. I think things over too long to say anything original.