Русское зазеркалье (двуязычная версия)

— You just wait! And then she kept quoting from the classics, saying, “You must know this” and “You must know that”—imagine, Ms Florensky, we don’t know this stuff! From Dante Ali-Gueri and from Shakespeare, and she didn’t even say it was Shakespeare, as if somebody who didn’t get it must be underdeveloped, and I only guessed it was Shakespeare because she mentioned Hamlet, so I am not that retarded as she thinks, and from Winston High Auden—who the hell is this Winston High Auden? Why does she know things I don’t know? Is it… legal?! (Я подавилась смешком.) I mean, it is intimidating, — тут же исправилась студентка, поняв, что сказала совсем уж глупость. — What if I go to Russia and recite a poem by their Tolstoyevsky, and say, ‘Hey, you don’t know your Tolstoyevsky, I do’? I mean, are those guys in our syllabus, are they Russian singers or what? Why isn’t she doing her job and sticking to what she must talk about? Do we pay our money for her intimidating us, or what? Give her the sack! I mean, she is just a hired part-time worker from a third-world country, why don’t you sack her?!

Патриша замолчала, тяжело дыша. Секунд десять мы все молчали. Сейчас меня, похоже, погонят отсюда поганой метлой, соображала я. Ну, и не больно то и хотелось! Эх, какую бы сказать красивую финальную фразу? Увы, стучало сердечко, и не находилось красивой финальной фразы.

— So this was the essence of your complaint, Miss McArthur? — произнесла директор тоном, не предвещавшим для студентки ничего хорошего, и я немного воспряла. — Allow me to say, then, that…

— No, Mercy darling, please allow me, — неожиданно перебил её баронет. Он, между тем, откинулся ещё глубже на спинку дивана, прикрыл глаза, будто собираясь с мыслями, сплёл пальцы на своём колене. Сделал глубокий выдох. Открыл глаза. И начал:

— My dear young lady, it seems to me that you completely misinterpret the situation. To begin with, Ms Florensky is not a hired worker from a third-world country begging for her wages. She is a celebrated painter and an extremely successful creative professional, an exceptional talent whose last painting was sold for five thousand pounds. («Вот это полёт фантазии! — поразилась я. — Вот кто тут a creative professional, куда мне!») We are proud to see her as our visiting professor. Unlike you, whom we only see as a—

— I am sorry, but who are you? — вдруг выдаластудентка. Я снова еле удержала смешок.

— I am Sir Gilbert Bloom, and I am the chancellor of the college, — спокойно ответилректор. — Which officially means that I am its head. I don’t interfere with the process, though; I only pay the bills when hard times come.

Патриша собиралась, видимо, что-то сказать — может быть, что она как американка и представительница самого демократического народа на Земле презирает дворянские звания — и даже открыла рот, но благоразумно промолчала.

— Now back to your complaint, — продолжал сэр Гилберт. — You accuse Ms Florensky of knowing more about English poetry than you do, and you ask us whether it is ‘legal,’ to use your clumsy expression. You see, a teacher is supposed to know more than his students, this being the natural order of things. It is also absolutely legal for anyone to know anything. A half-naked kid from Ethiopia or Burkina-Faso is permitted to read Shakespeare and to know more about him than you do. It was not Ms Florensky but only yourself who has intimidated you, and that by your own ignorance.

Патриша, встав, гневливо бросила:

— Good day to you, Mr Bloom!

— Please be so kind as to properly address a member of British nobility, Miss McArthur, — процедила директор, почти не разжимая губ. Сэр Гилберт только махнул рукой, как бы говоря: «Да что взять с этих янки!» — и, снова повернув голову к моей студентке, продолжил:

— Wait, I haven’t finished. You may try to sue me or, indeed, the College, for whatever reason. Just you try, and I will countersue you. I will employ the best lawyers in Britain whom money can buy, to use an Americanism. I will leave you in your panties—figuratively so, of course, as I am not sexually attracted to women of any age, being a homosexual. Do not try to mess up with us homosexuals, my dear young lady, not at our time. And yes, good day to you, too.

Патриша, развернувшись, стремительно вышла. Я поняла, что мне нужно что-то сказать, но все слова как приклеились к нёбу. Директор меня опередила:

— I am really, really sorry, Alice darling — such a shame! I really thought, you know, that you were rude to her this way or another, but since it comes to just that… I’ll call a cab to get you home, it is on me.

— No, Mercy, — добродушно прервал её сэр Гилберт. — I will call a cab, and we will have a lunch together — if Ms Florensky doesn’t object to the idea, that is.

— You, my brave man, how can I object to that? — пробормотала я. Директор издала небольшой смешок.[7]