“It’s you who never come to see me.”
“You don’t come to see me, either.”
“Why are you going?”
“My family isn’t happy here.”
“Is it Michele who’s sending you away?”
“He commands and I obey.”
“So it’s he who doesn’t want you in the neighborhood anymore.”
He looked at his hands, he examined them carefully.
“Every so often my nervous breakdown returns,” he said, and he began to talk to me about his mother, Melina, who wasn’t right in the head.
“You’ll leave her to Ada?”
“I’ll take her with me,” he muttered. “Ada already has too many troubles. And I have the same constitution, I want to keep her in sight to see what I’m going to become.”
“She’s always lived here, she’ll suffer in Germany.”
“One suffers everywhere. You want some advice?”
I understood from the way he looked at me that he had decided to get to the point.
“Let’s hear it.”
“You get out of here, too.”
“Why?”
“Because Lina believes that the two of you are invincible but it’s not true. And I can’t help you any longer.”
“Help us in what?”
He shook his head unhappily.
“The Solaras are furious. Did you see how people voted here in the neighborhood?”
“No.”
“It turned out that they no longer control the votes they used to control.”
“So?”
“Lina has managed to shift a lot of them to the Communists.”
“And what do I have to do with it?”
“Marcello and Michele see Lina behind everything, especially behind you. There is a lawsuit, and Carmen’s lawyers are their lawyers.”
96.
I went home, I didn’t look for Lila. I assumed that she knew all about the elections, about the votes, about the Solaras, enraged, who were waiting in ambush behind Carmen. She told me things a little at a time, for her own ends. Instead I called the publishing house, I told the editor in chief about the lawsuit and what Antonio had reported to me. For now it’s only a rumor, I said, nothing certain, but I’m worried. He tried to reassure me, he promised that he would ask the legal department to investigate and as soon as he found out anything he would telephone me. He concluded: Why are you so agitated, this is good for the book. Not for me, I thought, I’ve been wrong about everything, I shouldn’t have returned here to live.
Days passed, I didn’t hear from the publisher, but the notification of the lawsuit arrived at my house like a stab. I read it and was speechless. Carmen demanded that the editor and I withdraw the book from circulation, plus enormous damages for having tarnished the memory of her mother, Giuseppina. I had never seen a document that summed up in itself, in the letterhead, in the quality of the writing, in the decorative stamps and notarized seals, the power of the law. I discovered that what had never made an impression on me as an adolescent, even as a young woman, now terrified me. This time I hurried to see Lila. When I told her what it was about she started teasing me:
“You wanted the law, the law has arrived.”
“What should I do?”
“Make a scene.”
“What do you mean?”
“Tell the newspapers what’s happening to you.”
“You’re crazy. Antonio said that behind Carmen are the Solaras’ lawyers, and don’t say you don’t know.”
“Of course I know.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because you see how nervous you are? But you don’t have to worry. You’re afraid of the law and the Solaras are afraid of your book.”
“I’m afraid that with all the money they have they can ruin me.”
“But it’s precisely their money you have to go for. Write. The more you write about their disgusting affairs the more you ruin their business.”
I was depressed. Lila thought this? This was her project? Only then did I understand clearly that she ascribed to me the power that as children we had ascribed to the author of
97.
I went to the newsstand more anxious than ever. There again was the photograph of me with Tina, this time in black-and-white. The lawsuit was announced in the headline; it was considered an attempt to muzzle one of the very few courageous writers et cetera, et cetera. The article didn’t name the neighborhood, it didn’t allude to the Solaras. Skillfully, it set the episode within a conflict that was taking place everywhere, “between the medieval remnants that are keeping this country from modernizing and the unstoppable advance, even in the South, of political and cultural renewal.” It was a short piece, but it defended effectively, especially in the conclusion, the rights of literature, separating them from what were called “very sad local disputes.”