Английский разговорный шутя. 100 анекдотов на все случаи жизни

«We know,» said the young man, «we\'re not welcome at the local supermarket anymore either.»

Study the words and expressions given below:

elderly пожилой, стареющий

to join вступить (куда-л.), присоединиться

pastor священник, пастор

requirements требования (от to requireтребовать)

parishioner прихожанин (от parishприход)

to abstain воздерживаться

to reply отвечать

couch кушетка

to reach (for) дотягиваться (до чего-л.)

can банка

corn кукуруза

top верх; верхний

to bend (over) наклоняться (над чем-л.)

lust сильное желание

advantage преимущество

to state утверждать

to join a church вступить в церковь

to be able быть способным, мочь

No problem at all! Никаких проблем!

to go without sex обходиться без секса

Congratulations! Поздравления!

Welcome! Добро пожаловать!

to be welcome быть желаемым, желанным (где-л.)

to pick sth up поднимать что-л.

to be overcome with sth быть охваченным (чем-л.)

to take advantage of her воспользоваться удобным моментом

right there прямо там

Exercises to the text

1. Answer the questions to the text:

1. How many couples wanted to join the church and how old were they?

2. What special requirements did the couples have to meet if they wanted to join the church?

3. Who did the pastor go to first when the couples returned after the two weeks\' trial period?

4. Why was it easy for an elderly couple to be admitted to church?

5. How did the middle-aged husband cope with the problem?

6. What was wrong with the can of corn?

2. Fill in the blanks with the words from the text:

1. Two couples wanted _______ a church.

2. We have special _______ for new parishioners.

3. You must _______ from having sex.

4. No problem _______, Pastor.

5. _______ to the church!

6. I had to sleep on the couch for _______ of nights.

7. We were not _______ to go without sex.

8. My wife was _______ for a can of corn.

3. Say if the sentences are true or false:

1. Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join the army.

2. We have special requirements for new parishioners.

3. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks.

4. The couples didn\'t agree and never came back.

5. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights.

6. I was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it.

7. We\'re not welcome at the local zoo anymore either.