Английский разговорный шутя. 100 анекдотов на все случаи жизни

Eight-year-old little Mary and her mother are walking through the mall together one day. «Mommy,» says the little Mary, «how old are you?»

«Darling, you should never ask a woman what her age is.»

«Why not?» demands the child.

«Well, that is something you will understand one day when you\'re grown-up.»

«Mommy,» asks Mary again, «how much do you weigh?»

«Never mind,» answers the mother.

«Why can\'t you tell me?»

«Because grown-ups never talk about how much they weigh. This is something you will learn and understand someday.»

«Mommy,» insists the child, «can you tell me why you and Daddy got divorced?»

«Darling,» responds the mother in exasperation, «that\'s something still very painful for Mommy, and I really just can\'t talk about it now.»

A few days later, little Mary recounts this conversation to a friend at school. The friend explains how to overcome these problems.

«All you have to do is get your mother\'s driver\'s license. It has all the information about any grown-up you want on it. You just read it like a report card and it\'ll give you anything you need.»

So little Mary does as her friend recommended. That night she sneaks into her mother\'s room while her mom was cooking dinner. She rummages through her purse and finds the driver\'s license. After examining it carefully she walks up to her mother and says, «I know how old you are! You are 35!» The mother is very surprised. «And, I know how much you weigh. You weigh 136 pounds, right?» The mother is shocked. «And, I know why you and Daddy got a divorce.»

The mother, dumbfounded asked, «Why?»

«It\'s because you got an F in sex.»

Words and Expressions:

mall торговый центр

Mommy ласк. мама

darling дорогой

age возраст

to demand спрашивать

grown-up взрослый

to weigh весить

someday как-нибудь; на днях

to insist настаивать

exasperation раздражение

painful болезненный

to recount вспоминать

conversation разговор

to overcome преодолевать

license лицензия

to recommend советовать, рекомендовать

to sneak подкрадываться, пробираться

to rummage шарить, рыться

purse кошелек, бумажник

to examine исследовать, осматривать

carefully внимательно, тщательно

to shock шокировать

F сокр . female обозначение пола в документах

F буквенный индекс низшей оценки за успеваемость в американских школах

sex пол; секс

Never mind! Забудь! Не обращай внимания!

driver\'s license водительские права

report card «личное дело», в школьной практике – табель, дневник

dumbfounded ошарашенный

Section 38 Jelly beans