Английский разговорный шутя. 100 самых смешных анекдотов на лучшие разговорные темы

6. Her dress has been lifted up her thighs.

7. The poor gorilla is driven absolutely crazy.

8. The wife is grabbed and flung in with the gorilla by her husband.

Section 14:

2. 1. a husband said to his wife, «i invited a friend home for supper.»

2. Are you crazy?

3. The house is a mess.

4. All the dishes are dirty.

5. I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal.

6. Why did you invite a friend for supper?

7. The poor fool is thinking about getting married.

3. 1-d, 2-c, 3-b, 4-e, 5-a.

4. 1-d, 2-c, 3-f, 4-b, 5-h, 6-g, 7-Е, 8-А.

5. 1. I invited a friend home for supper.

2. Are you crazy?

3. I didn't go shopping.

4. I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal.

5. The poor fool is thinking about getting married.

6. 1. Instead of going to the restaurant with a friend he invited him home for supper.

2. She is talking to the husband now.

3. On coming home he went shopping.

4. I am fond of washing dishes.

5. He finished working after 6 o'clock.

6. He stopped eating and looked at the watch.

7. We are eating salad.

8. I am fond of shopping.

9. The man smoking a cigarette is my brother.

Section 15:

2. 1. Trying to avoid the little woman, he parks a block away.

2. He takes off his shoes, careful not to make a noise.

3. He quietly opens the door and tiptoes into the room.

4. He gets hit by a frying pan.

5. He tells the story to a friend at the local watering hole.

6. His best friend sadly shakes his head.

7. I go borrow my bud's Harley.

8. I take the Harley rat up on the porch.

3. true: 1, 3, 5, 6. false: 2, 4, 7.

4. 1-Е, 2-D, 3-1,4-B, 5-H, 6-J, 7-F, 8-A, 9-G, 10-C.

5. 1. He takes off his shoes as he walks up the stairs.

2. He quietly opens the door and tiptoes into the room.

3. He gets hit by a frying pan.

4. His best friend sadly shakes his head.

5. Now here's how I do it.

6. I take the Harley rat up on the porch.

7. I slam open the door and scream.

8. My wife is always asleep.

6. 1. Having got drunk, the guy came home real late.

2. Trying to avoid the little woman, he left his car a block away from his home.

3. Walking up the stairs, he tries his best not to make a noise.

4. Opening quietly the door and tiptoeing into the room, he gets hit by a frying pan.

5. Telling the story to a friend the next day at the local watering hole, he sees him sadly shake his head.

6. Taking the Harley rat up on the porch, I start screamin' and a cussin'.

7. Slamming open the door and screamin', he finds his wife always asleep.

7. 1. avoid,

2. tiptoe,

3. borrow,

4. local,

5. mess,

6. exhibit,

7. excitement,

8 fellow,

9. ape,

10. sleeveless.

Section 16:

2. 1. Two of the guys are talking about the amount of control they had over their wives.

2. The third guy remained quiet.

3. After a while one of the first two guys turned to the third one.

4. What sort of control do you have over your wife?

5. Just the other night my wife came to me.

6. The first two guys were amazed.

7. The third man took a healthy swallow of his beer.

3. 1-Е, 2-F, 3-C, 4-A, 5-B, 6-D, 7-G.

4. 1-D, 2-Е, 3-C, 4-F, 5-H, 6-G, 7-B, 8-A.

5. 1. There were three guys talking in the pub.

2. What is the amount of control you have over your wife?

3. The third guy remained quiet.

4. After a while one of the first two turned to the third.

5. Well, what about you?

6. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees.

7. What happened then?

6. 1. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they got over their wives.

2. What sort of control do you get over your wife?

3. I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife got to me on her hands and knees.

4. The first two guys got amazed.

5. The third man got a healthy swallow of his beer.

Section 17:

2. 1. two couples wanted to join a church.

2. We have special requirements for new parishioners.

3. You must abstain from having sex.

4. No problem at all, Pastor.

5. Welcome to the church!

6. I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights.

7. We were not able to go without sex.

8. My wife was reaching for a can of corn.

3. true: 2, 3, 5, false: 1, 4, 6, 7.

4. 1-Е, 2-a, 3-f, 4-1, 5-b, 6-j, 7-g, 8-c, 9-h, 10-d.

5. 1. three couples wanted to join a church.

2. We have special requirements for new parishioners.

3. The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.

4. No problem at all, Pastor.

5. Congratulations! Welcome to the church!

6. The first week was not too bad.

7. I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights.

8. I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there.

9. We're not welcome at the local supermarket anymore either.

6. 1.you can join the church.

2.You'll be able to join the church if you meet special requirements.

3.You must abstain from sex for three weeks.

4. We can't do this.

5. We were to come in three weeks.

6. We were not able to do this.

7. I had to sleep on the couch.

8. I didn't have to sleep on the couch.

9. May I join your church without a trial period?

10. I was allowed to do it without a trial period.

11. You shouldn't go to the local supermarket anymore.

7. 1. It's a recommendation that you join a church.