Uncle Remus and Brer Rabbit

“He had a mane fum his head plum ter de een’ er his tail, an’ in some places it wuz so long it drug on de groun’—dat what make all de creeturs ’fear’d un ’im. He growl an’ ax um what dey doin’, an’ when Brer Rabbit tell ’im, he say dat’s what he long been needin’. ‘How does you git in?’ ‘Des back right in,’ sez ol’ Brer Rabbit, sezee, an’ wid dat,

“Mr. Lion backed in, an’ de water wuz so hot, he try fer ter git out, an’ he slipped in plum ter his shoulder-blades. You kin b’lieve me er not, but dat creetur wuz scall’d so dat he holler’d an’ skeer’d eve’ybody fur miles aroun’.

“An when he come out, all de wool drap’t out, ’cep’ de bunch you see on his neck, an’ de leetle bit you’ll fin’ on de een’ er his tail—an’ dat’d ’a’ come off ef de tail hadn’t ’a’ slipped thoo de bung-hole er de barrel.” With that, Uncle Remus closed his eyes, but not so tightly that he couldn’t watch the little boy. For a moment the child said nothing, and then, “I must tell that tale to mother before I forget it!” So saying, he ran out of the cabin as fast as his feet could carry him, leaving Uncle Remus shaking with laughter.

HOW BRER RABBIT GOT A HOUSE

Oh, once ’pon a time, all de creeturs, all de creeturs, Tuck a notion dat dey’d build a house, An’ fix it so ez ter keep out de skeeters, An’ fix it up nix cummy rous! Dey all wuz dar fum de B’ar ter de Possum, Brer Wolf, Brer Fox, Brer Coon, Wid ol’ Brer Rabbit fer ter stan’ ’roun’ an’ boss um, Kaze dey hatter have de’ house right soon.

Brer Rabbit, he wuz busy, oh, yes, mighty busy, Not doin’ uv a blessed thing; Ef he clim’ de scaffle, he say he’ll git dizzy, So he medjur an’ mark an’ sing. Dey buil’ de house, an’ it sho wuz a fine un, Made er poplar, oak an’ pine; De littlest room wuz a sev’m-by-nine un, Whar de sick could go an’ whine!

Brer Rabbit, he wait, an’ when de time come He choosened a upsta’s room, An’ dar he sot (ef I kin make de rhyme come) A-singin’ “Hark fum de Toom”! An’ den he got what he aint had oughter, Ez all de creeturs said, A gun, a cannon, an’ a tub er water, An’ hid um under his bed!

When de creeturs come home, Brer Rabbit wuz ready, An’ he tell um he gwineter set down; “Well, set,” sez dey, “an’ we’ll try ter be ste’dy,” An’ wid dat, Brer Rabbit kinder frown; Bang-bang! went de gun—de barrels wuz double— An’ de creeturs wuz still ez mice; Brer B’ar he say, “Dy must be some trouble, But I hope heedon’t loosen de j’is!”

Brer Rabbit, he say, “Wharbouts mus’ I spit at?” An’ Brer Wolf answer, wid a grin, “Des wharsomever you kin make it hit at!” Brer Fox, he rub his chin; Brer Rabbit, he tuck de tub er water, An’ empty it all on de sta’rs, An’ it come nigh drownin’ Brer Coon’s daughter. An’ likewise one er Brer B’ar’s!

Brer Rabbit say, “When I sneeze I’ll skeer you, An’ I hate fer ter have it ter do!” Brer Fox say, “We’ll lissen an’ hear you Des go right ahead wid yo’ sneeze-a-ma-roo!” Boom-a-lam! went de cannon, an’ de creeturs, dey lit out Thoo window-sash an’ do’ Any way, any way dat dey kin git oot, An’ dey aint come dar no mo’!

BRER RABBIT AND THE PARTRIDGE NEST

Oh, what’s de matter wid de Whipperwill, Dat she sets an’ cries on de furder hill? An’ what’s de matter wid Miss Bob White, Dat she choke herse’f wid sayin’ Good-night? You know mighty well dat sump’n is wrong When dey sets an’ sings dat kinder song, ’Twix’ a call an’ a cry, ’twix’ a weep an’ a wail— Dey must be tellin’ a mighty sad tale.

Miss Whipperwill’s troubles, an’ what she say Will do fer ter tell some yuther day; But Miss Bob White—my! aint she a sight?— I’ll hatter tell why she hollers Good-night. Dey once wuz a time (needer mo’ ner less) When she ain’t try ter hide ner kivver her nes’; She built it in de open, whar all kin see, An’ wuz des ez perlite ez she kin be.

She’d make her house facin’ eas’ an’ wes’, An’ den wid eggs she’d fill her nes’; Fer ter keep um warm she’d brood an’ set, An’ keep her house fum gittin’ wet. Whiles dis gwine on, Brer Rabbit come by, A-wigglin’ his mouf, an’ a-blinkin’ his eye: “De top er de mornin’, Miss Bob,” sezee; “De same ter you, Brer Rabbit,” se’ she.

Sez ol’ Brer Rabbit, “I been missin’ you long, I wuz mighty fear’d dat sump’n wuz wrong, But here you set ez still ez a mouse, Not doin’ nothin’ but keepin’ house!” “Oh, well,” se’ she, “I’m too ol’ ter gad, I use’ ter do it, but I wish I never had! De only thing I want is ter wash my dress, But I can’t do dat whiles I’m on my nes’.”

Brer Rabbit, he say, “Can’t I he’p you out? I ain’t doin’ nothin’ but walkin’ about, An’ my ol’ ’oman is willin’ fer ter bet Dat ef settin ’s de thing, I’m ol’ man Set!” “I know mighty well,” sez Miss Bob White, “Ef you set a-tall, it’ll be done right.” “Thanky-do, Miss Bob! Go wash yo’ dress, An’ I’ll do what I kin fer ter kivver yo’ nes’!”