Alls Wel that ends Well

PAROLLES. What's the matter, sweetheart?

BERTRAM. Although before the solemn priest I have sworn,

I will not bed her.

PAROLLES. What, what, sweetheart? 

BERTRAM. O my Parolles, they have married me!

I'll to the Tuscan wars, and never bed her.

PAROLLES. France is a dog-hole, and it no more merits

The tread of a man's foot. To th' wars!

BERTRAM. There's letters from my mother; what th' import is I know

not yet.

PAROLLES. Ay, that would be known. To th' wars, my boy, to th'

wars!

He wears his honour in a box unseen

That hugs his kicky-wicky here at home,

Spending his manly marrow in her arms,

Which should sustain the bound and high curvet

Of Mars's fiery steed. To other regions!

France is a stable; we that dwell in't jades;

Therefore, to th' war!

BERTRAM. It shall be so; I'll send her to my house,

Acquaint my mother with my hate to her,

And wherefore I am fled; write to the King

That which I durst not speak. His present gift

Shall furnish me to those Italian fields 

Where noble fellows strike. War is no strife

To the dark house and the detested wife.

PAROLLES. Will this capriccio hold in thee, art sure?

BERTRAM. Go with me to my chamber and advise me.

I'll send her straight away. To-morrow

I'll to the wars, she to her single sorrow.

PAROLLES. Why, these balls bound; there's noise in it. 'Tis hard:

A young man married is a man that's marr'd.

Therefore away, and leave her bravely; go.

The King has done you wrong; but, hush, 'tis so. Exeunt

SCENE 4.

Paris. The KING'S palace

Enter HELENA and CLOWN

HELENA. My mother greets me kindly; is she well?

CLOWN. She is not well, but yet she has her health; she's very

merry, but yet she is not well. But thanks be given, she's very

well, and wants nothing i' th' world; but yet she is not well.

HELENA. If she be very well, what does she ail that she's not very

well?

CLOWN. Truly, she's very well indeed, but for two things.

HELENA. What two things?

CLOWN. One, that she's not in heaven, whither God send her quickly!

The other, that she's in earth, from whence God send her quickly!

Enter PAROLLES

PAROLLES. Bless you, my fortunate lady!

HELENA. I hope, sir, I have your good will to have mine own good

fortunes.

PAROLLES. You had my prayers to lead them on; and to keep them on, 

have them still. O, my knave, how does my old lady?

CLOWN. So that you had her wrinkles and I her money, I would she

did as you say.

PAROLLES. Why, I say nothing.

CLOWN. Marry, you are the wiser man; for many a man's tongue shakes

out his master's undoing. To say nothing, to do nothing, to know

nothing, and to have nothing, is to be a great part of your

title, which is within a very little of nothing.

PAROLLES. Away! th'art a knave.

CLOWN. You should have said, sir, 'Before a knave th'art a knave';

that's 'Before me th'art a knave.' This had been truth, sir.

PAROLLES. Go to, thou art a witty fool; I have found thee.

CLOWN. Did you find me in yourself, sir, or were you taught to find

me? The search, sir, was profitable; and much fool may you find

in you, even to the world's pleasure and the increase of

laughter.

PAROLLES. A good knave, i' faith, and well fed.

Madam, my lord will go away to-night:

A very serious business calls on him.

The great prerogative and rite of love, 

Which, as your due, time claims, he does acknowledge;

But puts it off to a compell'd restraint;

Whose want, and whose delay, is strew'd with sweets,

Which they distil now in the curbed time,

To make the coming hour o'erflow with joy

And pleasure drown the brim.

HELENA. What's his else?

PAROLLES. That you will take your instant leave o' th' King,

And make this haste as your own good proceeding,

Strength'ned with what apology you think

May make it probable need.

HELENA. What more commands he?

PAROLLES. That, having this obtain'd, you presently

Attend his further pleasure.

HELENA. In everything I wait upon his will.

PAROLLES. I shall report it so.

HELENA. I pray you. Exit PAROLLES

Come, sirrah. Exeunt

SCENE 5.

Paris. The KING'S palace

Enter LAFEU and BERTRAM

LAFEU. But I hope your lordship thinks not him a soldier.

BERTRAM. Yes, my lord, and of very valiant approof.

LAFEU. You have it from his own deliverance.

BERTRAM. And by other warranted testimony.

LAFEU. Then my dial goes not true; I took this lark for a bunting.

BERTRAM. I do assure you, my lord, he is very great in knowledge,

and accordingly valiant.

LAFEU. I have then sinn'd against his experience and transgress'd

against his valour; and my state that way is dangerous, since I

cannot yet find in my heart to repent. Here he comes; I pray you

make us friends; I will pursue the amity

Enter PAROLLES

PAROLLES. [To BERTRAM] These things shall be done, sir.

LAFEU. Pray you, sir, who's his tailor?

PAROLLES. Sir! 

LAFEU. O, I know him well. Ay, sir; he, sir, 's a good workman, a

very good tailor.

BERTRAM. [Aside to PAROLLES] Is she gone to the King?

PAROLLES. She is.

BERTRAM. Will she away to-night?

PAROLLES. As you'll have her.

BERTRAM. I have writ my letters, casketed my treasure,

Given order for our horses; and to-night,

When I should take possession of the bride,

End ere I do begin.