William Shakespeare's The Jedi Doth Return

[ to Ewoks:

] No gosh, no gosh,I yami bosh,
I uzzee prahnkh,
E boomabosh.

[The Ewoks stop momentarily and then resume their preparations.

O, see’st thou, Master Luke? They paid no heed,
As I suspected they would not, the brutes!

Luke

[ aside:

] Now Force, come flow within, around, above.Raise up the droid upon his wooden throne,
And let these creatures think he is their god,
A’raging in his anger. Let them shrink
And cower in their fear, and be so mov’d
That they shall do his every command.
C-3PO lifts up above the ground
And is quite terrified to be so high.
But frighten’d as they are, they do not see
Their god is yet more petrified than they.
They scatter to and fro and up and down,
For here’s a sight they ne’er have seen before:
A being flying sans the use of wings.
O work thy power, Force, be thou my aid
And constant strong companion in our need.
Success! The creatures now are quite convinc’d,
And move with haste to free us of our bounds.
C-3PO doth lower into place,
And now we all are free—O thank the Force,
That mov’d in me so I could move the droid,
And move these creatures to release us all.

[The Ewoks unbind Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, and Chewbacca. An Ewok frees R2-D2 and R2-D2 shocks the Ewok. The Ewok runs away.

R2-D2

[ aside:

] Now come ye back, ye scurvy, furry things,I’ll shock ye all for your abuse of us.

Han

O mistress mine, to see thee brings me joy!
Draw nigh and plant upon my lips a kiss.

Leia

Luke hath secur’d your safety with his ploy—
No sweeter meeting can I wish than this!

[Han Solo and Princess Leia kiss. Wicket approaches R2-D2.

Wicket

W’goodo, goodo,
Whoosah yoodo,
Yoosah speccul,
Hoodo, hoodo.

Luke

[ to C-3PO:

] My gratitude profound, C-3PO.

C-3PO

Forsooth, I never knew ’twas in me, Sir.

Luke

These little creatures may have value yet
If they our allies in this fight become.
I need thine aid now to convince them so—
I prithee, 3PO, make known to them
Our dire adventures ’gainst the Empire vile.

C-3PO

I know not, Master. I am not a bard
Who can with skillful tongue his story tell.

Leia

But try, C-3PO—the tale relay
In their own language.

[The Ewoks gather and listen.

C-3PO