William Shakespeare's The Jedi Doth Return

EnterLANDO OF CALRISSIAN, NIEN NUNB, ADMIRAL ACKBAR, WEDGE ANTILLES, and otherREBEL PILOTS.

Lando

Great Admiral, we’re in position now.
Each rebel fighter is accounted for,
And all are now prepar’d for our attack.

Ackbar

Proceed, then, with the countdown in a snap.

NIEN

[ to Lando:] Ungate-oh ah theyairee uhareh
Mu-ah-hareh. Mu-ah-hareh mu-kay?

Lando

Nay, worry not, my strangely membran’d friend.
My friend, the valiant Han, shall play his part,
And shall the shield disable in good time.

NIEN

Emutee bitchu me.

Lando

[ aside:] —Or this shall be
The shortest onslaught we will e’er attempt.

Ackbar

All groups assume attack coordinates,
And craft prepare to jump to hyperspace
When I have giv’n the sign to make it hap’.

[The ships jump to hyperspace.

Lando

Now we approach the Death Star, Admiral.
The moment hath arriv’d for us to strike
And win the day in grand Rebellion’s name.
All wings, I prithee, make report.

Wedge

—’Tis I,
Red Leader, standing by.

GRAY LEAD.

—Gray Leader doth
Stand by.

GREEN LEAD.

—’Tis I, Green Leader standing by.

Wedge

Now lock thine S-foils in attacking mode.

Ackbar

And may the Force be with us in this scrap.

Wedge

[ aside:] Like thee, dear friends, I have observer been
Of all this great Rebellion for a time.
Yet I have also been participant,
And fortunate enough to keep my life
E’en when full many others have expir’d.
The first grave Death Star battle I did see,
All ships but Luke’s and mine were cruelly wreck’d.
I dwelt within the rebels’ base on Hoth,
Where I fac’d AT-ATs in the snowy fight.
The second Death Star shall I here confront,
But know not whether I shall live or die.
Still, my life is but little consequence,
For though it ever in grave danger be,
I know I play a mere supporting part
Unto the greater cause of this Rebellion.
I am an actor in a drama vast—
A witness to the tragedy and hope,
The pain, the joy, the sadness, and the fear
That ever follow bold Rebellion’s name.
Like thee, I wonder how the tale will end,
And who shall live to see the glorious day
When falls the curtain on the Empire’s might.
Until that day I shall be on the scene,
To play my part as pilot: faithful, true,
Committed to the play that doth play out,
Determin’d to help write our final act—
To lift our noble cause e’en by a Wedge.

NIEN

[ to Lando:] Lamou-be-o-tee?

Lando

—But what dost thou mean?
We must be able to detect the shield,
Whether ’tis up or down.

NIEN

—Na mateeou.

Lando