William Shakespeare's The Jedi Doth Return

Thou verily dost underestimate
The power of the dark side. If thou wilt
Not fight, then thou shalt meet thy destiny.

[Darth Vader throws his lightsaber toward Luke Skywalker, which hits the balcony where Luke stands. Luke falls and hides.

Emperor

Ha ha, ’tis well! Now, Vader: finish it.

Vader

[ aside:

] What words shall I employ to find a son,To drive him so to hatred that he shall

Attempt to strike me down, and then be turn’d
Unto the dark side? O, is this not strange?
Were e’er there words to such a purpose put?
[ To Luke:

] Thou canst not hide forever, Luke.

Luke

—I shall
Not fight thee.

Vader

—Give thyself unto the dark
Side. ’Tis the only way to help thy friends.
[ Aside:

] O what is this I sense within him now?Another secret kept conceal’d from me?
Shall I e’er be the last to know my past?
[ To Luke:] Indeed, thy thoughts betray thee, for thou hast
Strong feelings for thy friends, especially
For one thou dost call sister. Aye, thou hast
A sister, and a twin. Thy feelings have
Betray’d her too. ’Twas wise of Obi-Wan
To try to hide the girl from me, but now
His vast and utter failure is complete.

Luke

[ aside:

] O Leia, how my thoughts have giv’n thee o’er!Fie, cursèd be my weak and changing mind
That e’er I did let Vader see its thoughts.
I wish’d that he would but as father see
His daughter there, and by her presence might
Be mov’d toward a better, nobler path.
But now I know he doth but wish to taunt
And draw me out by his discovery.
O Leia, ever since I first did see
Thee in the beam from R2’s light I knew
We shar’d a deep connection. Now have I
Been partner to her cause through many times
Of hardship: battles won and lost, the joys
That come from victory, and all the griefs
That flow when friends have perish’d. With regard
To this both noble and fair princess, I
Have gone from hope of romance to a far
More deep and greater form of love. I fain
Would give my life for her. But O! That I
Should here betray her so, e’en with my weak
And simple-minded thoughts—what folly! Nay,
Far more: what horrid, selfish knavery!
But how shall he, my father, use this knowledge?
Will he attempt to capture her again
And lock her in this Death Star as he hath
Before? Or shall he seek to kill her now,
Since he doth know she may a threat become?

Vader

Belike, boy, thou dost wonder how her fate
Shall alter’d be, since I do know of her.
Thus pay good heed to this I do declare:
If thou shalt not toward the dark side turn,
Mayhap she will.

Luke

[ aside:

] —O thought more evil thanWhate’er I did or could imagine. [ Revealing himself:] Nay!