William Shakespeare's The Jedi Doth Return

[ aside:

] No bounty hunter would be fool enoughTo take the first price offer’d, I’ll be sworn.

Boushh

Yoto. Yoto.

C-3PO

—’Tis fifty thousand, and
No less.

Jabba

[ striking C-3PO:

] —Ahh, uun yun kuss tah fiti pun.

C-3PO

Whatever was it that I said, Sirrah?
I did perform the function thou hast giv’n:
Precisely did I translate this one’s words.

Jabba

Moonon keejo!

Fett

[ aside:] This scamp had best beware, if he would be a bounty hunter in the service of great Jabba. It seemeth he hath little appreciation for the famèd anger of the Hutt.

C-3PO

[ to Boushh:

] —The mighty Jabba asksThe reason wherefore fifty thousand is
The sum demanded of thee.

Boushh

—Ay yo-toe!

C-3PO

The knave doth threaten us—he holdeth in
His hands a thermal detonator. O!

[Jabba’s courtiers shrink in fear. Boba Fett takes out his blaster.

Jabba

Ho, ho. Kaso ya yee koli tra do
Kahn nee go. Yu bahn chuna leepa nah.

Crumb

The Hutt doth call him fearless and inventive,
But never did invention make me fear
As this one’s thermal detonator doth.

Jabba

[ to C-3PO:

] Kuo meeta tah te fye. Dah tee teemaNye.

C-3PO

[ to Boushh:

] —Mighty Jabba offers thirty-five,And were I in thy place, I would accept
The deal. ’Tis better, as they say, to make
The peace than make us all in pieces be.
And truly thirty-five while living is
A sum more numerous than zero dead.

Boushh

Ya-toe cha.

C-3PO

—Praise the maker, he agrees!

Chewbac.

Auugh!

[Chewbacca is led away by Gamorrean guards as music begins to play again.

Lando

[ aside:

] —This sad scene I witness with contempt:Another bounty hunter earns his sum
For bringing in a harmless innocent.
Now all is merriment and patting on
The back whilst yet another’s added to
Their clan. A scoundrel’s life ’tis true I’ve known,
Yet never did I stoop so low as this.
But still, I smile at what I here survey,
For I know well this bounty hunter is
No normal man—no normal man indeed!
And his apparent prize—my Wookiee friend
Chewbacca—is not as a pris’ner come.
Bear thou this burden bravely, Lando, for
The wait is almost over—soon the plan
O’er which we took great pains shall come to pass.
Be still, my scoundrel heart, with patience wait,
For retribution comes in time, though late.

[Exeunt.

Scene 3.

The desert planet Tatooine, at Jabba’s Palace. Night.

EnterBOUSHH.

Boushh