William Shakespeare's The Jedi Doth Return

What fate is this? What curs’d, unearnèd path?
Within a minute rescu’d by my love,
Then taken from her unto this grim place.
How long was I in carbonite encas’d?
Am I an old man now, with graying hair?
What jubilant occasions have I miss’d?
What friends have died, or have been lost fore’er?
Hath our Rebellion disappointed been,
Or is it now fulfill’d with all success?
Because I do not know how long I’ve slept,
Or what transpir’d while I was frozen thus,
It seems my mind is sluggish to defrost.

Chewbac.

Grrm.

Han

—Yet another sound familiar, but
This one doth bring delight into my soul.
Chewbacca? Prithee, tell me, Chewie, is
It thou who art here with me?

Chewbac.

—Auugh.

Han

—Sweet joy!
What bounty of affection do I feel
For thee, dear Wookiee. I cannot yet see,
But knowing thou art here doth warm my heart.
I prithee, give me news of all that is.

Chewbac.

Egh, auugh!

Han

—What sayst thou? Luke—a Jedi Knight?
What strange tomfoolery! Luke is but young,
Not made for rescues.

Chewbac.

—Auugh!

Han

—Thou dost report
I have been gone a time but fleeting, so
Have all acquir’d delusions of some grandeur?
And what of Han? Have I been left behind?
O thought most base, O destiny unkind.

[Exeunt.

Scene 4.

The desert planet Tatooine, at Jabba’s Palace.

EnterLUKE SKYWALKER.

Luke

The time is now, the place is here, the man
Myself, the matter: rescue of my friends.
Be focus’d, mind; be settl’d, heart and soul.
I enter unto Jabba’s palace for
One purpose and that purpose by itself:
My friends to find and bring deliverance.
Now to it, Luke, and earn the Jedi name,
Not by thy might, but by thy calm and wit.

EnterBIB FORTUNA

BIB

Yo mot tu cheep, do you pan Skywalker.
Nuh Jabba mo bah toe baht too.

Luke

—Nay, Sir.
I tell thee: I shall speak with Jabba now.

BIB

Nuh Jabba no two zand dehank obee.

[Luke uses a Jedi mind trick on Bib Fortuna.

Luke

Thou shalt take me to Jabba presently.

BIB

Naja takka to Jabba prekkenlee.

Luke

Thou servest thy proud master well, and shall,
In time, receive from him a great reward.

BIB

Eye sota y’locha. Ba chu noya trot.

EnterJABBA OF THE HUTT, PRINCESS LEIA, C-3PO, BOBA FETT, THE MAX REBO BAND, SALACIOUS CRUMB, LANDO OF CALRISSIANin disguise, and other members of Jabba’s court.

Luke

[ aside:] Say what is this? My Leia sparsely clad
All in a metal-fashion’d suit? How strange!
I did expect one of our company
To be enclos’d in steel, but not like this.

C-3PO

At last, ’tis Master Luke to rescue us!

BIB

[ to Jabba:] Nuh masta, gabba no pace Skywalker.

Jabba

Nah mass fa wong lee fah toon kay.

Luke

—Thou must,
Great Jabba, grant me leave to speak with thee.

BIB

Nuh Jedi modst be inco ee, baanah.

Crumb