William Shakespeare's The Jedi Doth Return

Old Bib but echoes what the man doth say!

Jabba

Ahh, ko ja vaya sko. Ees turo na
Om Jedi mine chik.

[Jabba strikes Bib Fortuna, who falls.

Luke

—Let me be plain:
Thou shalt with all expedience produce
Both Captain Solo and the Wookiee, and
Shall grant our safe departure from this place.
’Tis this, and nothing more, I shall accept.

Jabba

Ya ku kacha ka puna ni sa. Ee?

Luke

My Jedi powers may not work on thee,
But still I shall take Captain Solo and
His friends. Thou canst yet choose to profit from
This plan, or be destroy’d. It is thy choice,
But thou art warn’d: to underestimate
My pow’r would bring about thy end at once.

C-3PO

But Master Luke, thou standest on—

Jabba

—Ban gon
Wah she co, cah O Jedi. Cho kanya
Wee shaja keecho, ho!

[Luke uses the Force to take a blaster from a guard.

Ah bahloosku!

[Jabba presses a button that drops Luke and Gamorrean Guard 2 into the rancor pit.

Crumb

Now shall we see the rancor rancorous!

EnterRANCORinto the pit with Luke and the Gamorrean guard.

Lando

[ aside:

] Alas, now Luke is thrown into the pit—His skill must see him through. My part shall be
To give protection to the princess now.

C-3PO

For pity—now the monster hideous
Hath come forth from his hiding place to sup.

RANCOR

[ sings:

] They shriek at my mystique,My teeth they’ll die beneath—
A feast made for a beast,
A treat that I may eat!

Luke

What terrifying creature-thing is this?
Ne’er have I such a ghastly being seen.
But still these thoughts, for succor have they none:
Be calm now, Luke, or else—sans doubt—you die.

G. GUARD 2

Squeal!

Leia

—That poor guard shall be the first to fall,
For he doth panic and is cornerèd.
The rancor slowly makes his way t’ward him
And sees his dinner spread before his eyes.

C-3PO

O wretched beast! He tears the guard apart
With sound of breaking bones and crumpl’d flesh.
One need not know six million language forms
To understand the screams and sudden hush.

Crumb

It shall be time to hire another guard!

RANCOR

[ sings:

] The fat one now is flat,He growls within me bow’ls,
And yet I’ll not forget
To source my second course.

Luke

He turns in my direction, counting on
His next delicious morsel to be ta’en
E’en from my body. Aye, he cometh quick!
This stick shall my protection be—we’ll see
If he hath appetite for wooded grains.

Lando

[ aside:

] Luke now is in its grasp, but cunninglyHath bought a little time, and put a log
Inside the creature’s mouth. Fight on, good Luke!

Leia

Well done, dear friend. Anon, make haste and flee!

RANCOR

[ sings:

] The one doth quickly run,I’ll catch him—down the hatch him!
The stick’s a nasty trick—
His head shall be my bread.

Luke